Thursday, October 22, 2009

No PDA In The Bigs

The Phillies clinched the NLCS last night with a 10-4 win over LA and Brett Myers is still getting no love from his wife. Hopefully he doesn't smack her around for this move like he did a few years back....

Brett Myers Denied

Monday, October 19, 2009

A Slippery Myth

We here at 3 dusters are often too lazy to write anything worth reading so today we are welcoming a guest entry which we think fits in beautifully with what we're all about here on this esteemed blog. This fine tale comes from fellow duster, Mike Giorgi. Enjoy. 




There are many quotations in the western culture that usually go undisputed and unquestioned by the majority of the population. Today I dare to question one pertaining particularly to the sports world, the world of criminal activity, and sometimes those who get caught in the "grey" area in between (not pointing fingers, NFL). This quotation would be the age old warning “don’t drop the soap” when entering the showering facilities.

I, like many of you, have always taken this warning as bible. Yet the oddest thing happened in the YMCA shower today. I know what you all are thinking, “what were you doing at the gym?” I would like to tell you that I did some sort of structured workout that my health will actually benefit from but the truth is I did approximately 3 sets of flat bench, threw in a set of incline and rode the bike next to a girl who will be known as P.F.G (Perfect Face Girl), since she is much too hot to talk to in order to find out her real name, until I finished my bottled water.

Without venturing too far off topic I will resume my story about the events that occurred in the shower. After my “workout” I grabbed my bottle of head and shoulders (give me a break the gym ‘poo is shit), wrapped a towel around myself and entered the showers. The usual suspects were taking part in their cleansing rituals. There was a man of Asian descent wearing a swimming cap, a burly man who (by the looks of the permanent tan from his wife beater) had been in construction for twenty plus years, and a cheerful elder man with a slight hunch and, from his quick nod and “hello”, had an English accent. I took a shower in between the Brit and the Asian man and proceeded to wet and lather. It was time for the shampoo. I popped the blue top off and turned the bottle upside down. 

That’s when it happened. 

I squeezed the bottle and the soap residue on my hands caused the bottle to slip out of them, across the floor and in between the Asian and the hardy construction worker. Neither of them moved to aid me in its recovery (jerks) so I mustered the courage and pursued my lost treasure. I admit, had I thought of it at the time, I would have just bent my knees (even though now that I picture it a guy squatting in the showers is more awkward than what actually happened). I closed my eyes, bent over, and recaptured the lost bottle. 

Nothing happened. 

Half shocked and half disappointed I returned my selected showerhead. Then it hit me. The shower is probably the safest place to expose one’s bunghole to the open air. For those of you who have had sex with a female in the shower you know that water is a terrible lubricant. Being wet from the shower would almost form some sort of Star Wars-worthy force field around the area of concern. At the same time, however, you (and more importantly your waist) would be much too slippery a target to grab onto. Finally, being the shooter in an unwanted game of bum darts HAS to be somewhat embarrassing in front of so many witnesses and probably dangerous around authority figures such as prison guards. We should have learned from The Shawshank Redemption that somewhere dry and subtle, like a janitor’s closet, is a much more dangerous place to drop something naked around sexual deprived or homosexual individuals. Sometime, long ago, the actual quote must have been along the lines of “don’t drop your knife when seven dudes are trying to do you.” Broken telephone isn’t such a fun game now, is it?

Outside the shower lay the dangers of wet towel fights and credit card scenarios (although I admit these have occurred in the shower as well). So I say – drop the soap. Kick it around a few times. Pass it to a buddy. Enjoy it. Don’t spend the extra eighteen cents on a rope (a hundred of which costs you a bottle of Brava). My only fear is that there are far too many of these quotes in the English language that will forever limit our fun times without any real threat to us- like dropping the soap during shower time.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Weekly Poll Results

Saw this one coming; Yonny Burger takes the cake with 7 votes, nobody else really came close. Honorable mention to Wendiles (2 votes) and their delicious grand slam burger (it's not on the menu, but ask for one and I guarantee you will not be disappointed...or skinny). I am a little surprised to see the lack of love for Harvinolds, but not as surprised as the fact that E and Sloan are getting married (spoiler alert) oh shit, those are supposed to go before the spoiler...oh well, if you haven't watched the season finale of entourage yet you're a true duster. Tbo, just admit it was a good episode, happy endings make everyone feel warm and fuzzy inside, and lisztomania by Phoenix playing in the background was definitely legit.

Speaking of entourage, I think I will make this week’s poll about it. It has been confirmed that they will air a 7th season sometime in the summer of 2010. I am interested to see what many of you think about this (once?) excellent show.

On a completely separate note, a couple of beauties I know stumbled upon a real gem of a burger joint on the weekend, and I mean this literally as they were hammered drunk Saturday night and looking for a feed after leaving the Tap. The spot is Nick’s Grill in Downtown Whitby and apparently it’s open until 3am on Fridays and Saturdays. I had it the other day for lunch and boy was it a treat. I am in no way affiliated with this establishment; I just know all of you out there are dying to find out what I eat to maintain this Greek Adonis like body, Enjoy!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Leafs Nation = Disaster Zone



The NHL season is underway and nothing is new in Toronto, the lowly Leafs are off to one of the worsts starts in their storied history, managing only 1 point throughout their first 6 games. I know it is early in the season but the embarassing 4-1 loss to the avalanche last night, who owned the NHL's third worst record last season, could be only a sign of things to come. The Avalanche have been playing well so far this year behind the stellar goaltending of longtime back-up Craig Anderson and an offence lead by two 18 year old rookies in Matt Duchene and Ryan O'Reilly, still no excuse for getting pounded 4-1.

So what is wrong with the Leafs this year? No scoring punch? Too many stupid penalties? Horrible Goaltending? All of this seems to be true early in the season. The leading scorer was banished to the press box last night and Vesa Toskala is a joke, the hockey equivelant of Josh Towers, remember him? The leafs big signings included Francois Beauchemin, who played in the shadows of two future Hall of Famers in Anaheim, and is now the owner a -5 +/- rating, they also signed Komisarek, Exelby, and Orr for some toughness, so far their fights have lead to minimal success in the win department, and finally; the Monster, the guy had some sort of heart attack when riding the stationary bike....good signing fellas.

I am guilty of buying into Burke's crap throughout the offseason and pre-season about the leafs being a much better team and I wish i could honestly say that things will turn around in the near future but I just don't see it happening. The Leafs have what seems to be a proven scorer in Phil Kessel on the IR, but they also paid a high price to get him. If the Leafs continue to play they way they have and Kessel doesn't light it up once he returns than that deal only looks even better for Boston come draft time.

As a Leaf fan I hope that the team FIO's and starts playing better hockey because as of right now it's not even worth watching, especially if I have to look at Burkes yuge melon and Wilson's Bill Gates haircut throughout the game.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Herbie Verstank....I mean... Herb Brooks lives on.

I recently came across one of the funniest videos i've seen on youtube in quite some time. Check out this 4 year old kid re-enact Herb Brooks' pre-game speech from the movie "Miracle". The kid does a pretty bang up job, only thing he's missing is those sweet pants on Kurt.


4 year old's version


Movie Version (with Snake Pilsson!)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Poll Results

The poll results are in and 9 of you believe that the Make Ya Laughs (I made that up) will make the playoffs but will have an early exit this year, 4 people think they will just miss the playoffs and 1 Habs fan has them as cellar dwellers. They certainly have not done anything thus far to make anybody believe they are an improved team, I mean could Beauchemin have looked any worse the first few games? I still think they will push for a playoff spot this season, especially when Phil "One Nut Wonder" Kessel joins the lineup.

Thanks for voting and remember what we say here at 3dusters; If you're not reading the blog, you're a closet homosexual!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Black Jays Fiasco

Hello again.
And btw Teebs, Everett walking is old news. Let's get with the program. I was at the game when he walked on the field and gave a speech. Very touching...

Anyway, everyone has heard the news. The players are unhappy with Cito. JP has been fired.
I'd like to touch on those two subjects.
First, the players don't like Cito? That's a joke.
If indeed that story is true.
I'm going to assume it's all true before I get going...

Ready? Okay.

I understand not liking or not getting along with a manager. That happens.
And I'm not in the clubhouse, but how do you not respect a manager with the pedigree of Cito Gaston? Even if you disagree with what he might be telling you, don't you think it would be a good idea to listen? *Cough* Vernon Wells, Alex Rios (who?)...
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not out to bash those two guys. I'm here to bash any player that has the gall to question Cito's managerial tactics.
You've heard it here before; We all love Cito here at 3 Dusters.
But we're not the only ones. Numerous former players seem to like him as well.
I didn't hear any complaints after the Jays compiled a 78-51 combined record in his first 129 games back as skipper.
As for players complaining about playing time, presumable Lyle Overbay...
Hey Lyle, have you looked at your stats? You hit .190 with 1 HR vs. lefties this year.
Shut up.
The only guy who for sure wasn't pissed with Cito was Lind. The two of them were always seen i the dugout conversing. Hmm...weird. Lind has a fucking monster year.
In closing, the Jays have but a few what I like to call "winning players".

1. Adam Lind
2. Roy Halladay
3. Aaron Hill
4. Marco Scutaro

They also had Scott Rolen, who was the tits this year.
Scutaro will be gone, and Roy may be gone as well.
Travis Snider is also a gem

If possible, management should gas every player who isn't a star player (Roy, Lind, Hill) that Johnny Mac, Rod Barajas, can't get rid of Wells, bye Lyle, Scotty Downs (apparently the pitchers were also very pissed with the manager), good riddance Brian Tallet, Shawn Camp should find the number of the Nationals GM, Joe Inglett? Bye!, See ya Millar - go get a job on TV somewhere. What a bunch of stiffs.

I'd also like to touch on the report that the coaches were divided - Cito's guys; Nick Leyva, Gene Tenace and Dwayne Murphy - and the leftovers from Gibbons; Brad Arnsberg, Brian Butterfield, and Bruce Walton.
Again, what have the latter three coaches ever done? Have some respect.
I hate to keep saying it, but Cito and his coaches know how to win. They've won as coaches and it Tenace's case, won as players as well. No respect shown at all it seems.
I've also heard that some former players have spoken up in support of the current Jays manager.

Great start, terrible finish and a bush league play to hang it on the greatest manager in franchise history. Hey Ceets, show em' your back to back World Series rings!

More on JP next time, I'm spent.