Monday, December 21, 2009

Don't Do Me Like That, Goody!

Word,

I know that many of our readers out there are very upset that I haven’t posted anything new on here for a couple months. I’ve heard stories of crying fits, panic attacks, people becoming violently ill, I even had to talk a few people off of ledges with promises of new material very soon, well alas, here is it; prepare to be underwhelmed.

Since it has been a while since I have posted I think I can touch on a few different topics, get it out all out of my system, kind of like the way I did early Sunday morning into a nearby garbage pale at my girlfriends house (I owe you).
I don’t know about the rest of you twenty somethings out there, but does anybody find it a little depressing that Christmas no longer means pure excitement for the month of December… waking up at 5am on Christmas Day to open up what seemed like a million presents? I just recently finished school, foreeeverrrrr, and with no career in site and the joy of working at 8AM on boxing day at a bitter cold hockey rink this year, I am having trouble getting into the Christmas Spirit. Sure, I have an advent calendar, but cardboard tasting chocolate can only bring you so much joy. I’ve watched a few Christmas movies… I think Christmas Vacation has been on at least one channel at every hour of the day since Dec 1. I’ve bought a few gifts, helped decorate the tree, even attended a Christmas Concert, yet it still sits in the back of my mind that Christmas will never be as fun as it was when I was 10, getting old and having responsibilities sucks, am I right?

Enough with the emo garbage, let’s move on to something less depressing… like Toronto sports teams (did I say less depressing?) 2010 could very well be another depressing year in the life of a Toronto sports fan. With the trade of Dr. Hal O’Day by the Black Jays, it is going to be another long year at the Rogers Centre. I will continue to root for the Jays, and I like the fact that we got some promising young prospects from the Phillies and A’s, but it is not going to change the fact that the Jays will most likely finish 4th or 5th in the AL East. Black Jays.

The Argo’s are a joke…well the CFL is a joke, so even if the Argo’s were good, they’d be a joke by default. They just fired their coach, his name was Bart, enough said.

The Raptors changed their roster drastically this off season and promised a good product on the floor, this year. Every game they lose and give up 378pts the more I think Colangelo is not the genius we were promised. Win a playoff series guys.

TFC; gay.

That leaves us with everybody’s favorite sports franchise, the May Pull Leifs. Could it be that the team that everybody has shit on at the beginning of the year turns it around and makes the playoffs? Could this no talent group of hacks actually win a round, maybe 2? Could they be the most successful sports team in Toronto in 2010? Maybe I’m reaching a little bit, but the recent turnaround of the Leafs has got people talking. The Leafs have certainly been playing better as of late, sitting 4 points out of a playoff position as of Monday afternoon. Phill Kessel has been playing well (other than a couple stinkers against his old team) making the deal that I blasted earlier this year look like it may turn out to be alright. I think the Leafs can pull it together and make a playoff appearance in 2010, especially in the joke that is the Eastern Conference. Here are a few New Year’s resolutions for the Maple Leafs, to ensure that they keep the train rolling into the New Year.

They need to play with a little more heart, especially Gustavsson.

Matt Stajan needs to contact the people at EA sports and inform them that his name is not pronounced “Stayin”. They’ve been pronouncing it like that in their video games for years, Figure it out.

Play with more balls, I’m looking at you Kessel (too soon?)

Get rid of Colton orr and Wayne Primeau and bring in their brothers, Keith and Bobby…Bobby is Colton’s brother right? Either way, bring in Bobby Orr.

Kaberle needs to grow a beard, he’s got the face of a 6 year old girl.

Ron Wilson really needs to stop letting his mother cut his hair, you’re making lots of money Ron, get a real haircut.

Make the playoffs.

Merry Christmas, y’all!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

There's No Roy in Team




A message to all the fairweather Blue Jay fans who have been spouting off about this Roy Halladay trade: Shut up. There's a reason why you aren't the GM and there are countless reasons why this had to happen. He's gone, we'll all get over it, the team will be fine. Now go save your money for tickets for the home opener, pull out your old school Jays hat and jersey, proceed to watch 10 minutes of the game, get in a fight in the stands, and throw a few empty beer cups on the field. Thanks.

There are too many things I want to comment on right now. I've heard and read people say they aren't going to follow the Jays anymore. People are wondering who they can possibly cheer for now that Halladay is gone. Fans believe that Aaron Hill and Adam Lind are now the only useful players we have on the roster.........HUH??

Do people really have this stuff going through their brains? Come on people, I certainly get frustrated with this team on a regular basis, but never to that level. If you are a real fan of a team it takes a lot more than trading their best player to abandon them. That's lame.

I'm going to throw a few things out here on why people need to figure it out. This has the potential to turn into a huge Vernon Wells rant. Beware.

1) To the "fans" who are abandoning all hope and don't want to follow the team anymore: Really? You're done? Come on, it's just one guy when it comes down to it. Plus, he doesn't even play every day. Halladay is the best Blue Jay to ever take the mound that I've witnessed (well, Roger Clemens is, but fuck him) but it's not like he's the only player that matters. He pitches around 30-35 games a year. What's that you say? You only watch when Halladay pitches? Well, that's retarded. You can leave.

2) To the people who don't know who they can cheer for now that Halladay, Blue Jay of Blue Jays, has been traded to Philly. Uhhh here's one for ya...everyone else on the fucking team. Hello? You are a Blue Jays fan are you not? You cheer for everyone! That's right, you cheer for everyone on the team regardless of whether or not they are a star player. You don't like certain players on the team? Boo hoo. You think Vernon Wells (uh-oh, here we go) is an overpaid, useless piece of shit? Too bad! He's on the team like everyone else. If Halladay was your favourite player, I get it, it sucks. Follow his starts with the Phils, cheer him on, be glad he isn't killing Toronto with the Yankees or Red sox. Then, go cheer for the entire Jays team.

3) To the people who praise Aaron Hill and Adam Lind since only they are worth anything on this lousy squad. Give me a break. One great year apparently gets you MVP status among fairweather Jays fans. I've never seen 2 guys get so much love from the fans for having one good season. Aaron Hill's story is nice, I'm a big fan of his and it was great to see him have a huge comeback year. Lind looks like he's finally figured it out at the big league level and I hope he keeps it going. Both players had the best offensive seasons that Jays fans have seen since 2006, when Troy Glaus and Vernon Wells (yep, it's coming) put up big numbers. Now, Glaus only hit around .250 that year, so maybe he shouldn't be held in the same regard as Lind and Hill. Vernon, however, authored a batting line of .303, 32, 106, quite similar to the numbers Aaron and Adam achieved in the '09 season. Oh, and that isn't even the best season of his career. Fuck it, let's do this.....

Yes, its time for the Vernon Wells rant. I've been waiting a long time to do this on this blog.

People, forget the huge contract, forget what you think you know about this guy (enough with saying he's lazy and doesn't care, its such bullshit), and know this: Vernon Wells, when he is the real Vernon Wells and not this bandaided imposter we've seen the past couple years, is the best player on this team. You know it's true, stop kidding yourselves.

I know people are still going to say, fuck Vernon, he's lazy, doesn't hustle, blah blah blah. Here's something for you to chew on. Fans adore the guys that dive around and get dirty and play baseball 100mph. The Reed Johnsons of MLB. There's a reason why a guy like Reed Johnson has to play like that, and it's largely because he doesn't have the talent and can't play with the efficiency of a guy like Vernon Wells. The hustle guys are great to have for many reasons, but they aren't going to lead you to a ring. If you would rather have a guy like Reed in CF over Vernon you are a total loon.

Oh, and the contract, the oft-cursed contract. Ok, the contract sucks, it really does. It sucks even if he is putting up .300, 30 100 numbers. I get it though, the team needed to show the fans that they were willing to shell out the dough to keep our star players around. If the Jays didn't give him the money, someone else was going to give him just as much. But come on, people take this contract thing way too far. It's not your money, why do you care so much what he makes? Should he perform at a high level based on how much money he makes? Yes, but to a degree. I don't know if he can ever really "earn" that money in the haters' eyes at this point.

Like I said before, When Wells is on, he is the man, there's no debate. Give me another great year from Hill and Lind and another horrible year from Wells and that can probably be refuted. Until then, it's true, and it really grinds my gears that no one can admit that when the proof is right there.

Fans, get your act together and cheer for the team. Sure, they aren't going to be good this year, but don't just bail now and hop back on when they get good again, then you are just as bad as all those Red Sox fans that came out of god knows where back in 04. Man, that was so laaame.

As for Vernon, cheer the guy on. No more moans and groans every time he steps up with runners in scoring position. Yeah, he's had a couple rough years, and I'm sure he knows it. He wants to do well as bad as we want him to. Oh, and just so you know, I'm driving the Vernon Wells bandwagon in 2010, and, if you figure it out now, you can all hop on for the summer.

Merry Christmas to all of our readers and their families!

Love,

Teebs

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

DOC

If it doesn't happen today, it will become official tomorrow. Roy Halladay will be traded to the Philadelphia Phillies. And you know what? Good. I'm pleased about it, satisfied.

Halladay never publicly lashed out and demanded a trade like so many others do. He's a class act and has remained that way until the final days of his Black Jays tenure. He's the best pitcher in baseball.

And go ahead and circle next June whatever on your calendar, because that's when Roy and the Phillies head back to Toronto for a three game series at the Rogers Centre. (What kind of baseball team calls their park a "centre" by the way? Call it Rogers Field, Park...Centre is for hockey and basketball arenas. Figure it out.)

Back to Halladay. I feel good about him not going to Boston or the Yankees, even though I wouldn't have lost my mind if he did. This trade is not about where he goes/went, it's about what the boys in black get back.

If Toronto gets Kyle Drabek, Michael Taylor and Travis D'Arnaud back as reported, I think that's a fine haul. Taylor is 24 and can probably step in right away if not next year, Drabek is 22 and not far away, and D'Arnaud is a 20-year old catching prospect who hit well last year in the minors. (.255, 13, 71, .319) He also hit 38 doubles.

When it's all said and done, Halladay is a Phillie, the Black Jays get back some nice prospects, and the fans don't hate Roy for leaving, or worse demanding a trade out of town. Doc should always be remembered in Toronto as one of at least the best two pitchers in franchise history (respect Stieb) and a class act who wanted to win above all else. That's what I'll think of, and I'll always hope he does well no matter where he goes for the rest of his career.

Having said all that, when are they trading Overbay? And are we really going to see John Buck and Ramon Castro share the catching duties this year? The answer to that last question is yes! Welcome to the beginning of the rebuild.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Go get 'em Tiger

I just want to quickly revisit this Tiger Woods thing. After learning that he's allegedly been with at least 10 other women while he's been married, my opinion has changed slightly.

I wasn't ready to throw Tiger under the bus initially like so many others, but wow, 10? When will the number stop going up? Does he hit 20 soon? 50? 100 kills? Tiger clearly is not who we thought he was, and now I think he should come out from the shadows and speak on the matter, for his own sake.

I don't really need to hear about all the filthy little details, but he needs to come out and talk about this. If he's got some sort of problem like a sex addiction or whatever, fine, tell people. At this point he needs to clean up at least some of this mess because it's just getting out of control and he's looking like a bigger scumbag every hour.

If he doesn't, in 50 years people won't be talking about Tiger Woods as the greatest golfer of all time, he'll be remembered more for being an adulterous scumbag, which would be a real shame.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Hey, Uh, It's Tiger.


With all of this Tiger Woods hoopla taking place it seemed appropriate that the 3 dusters should throw in their 2, or 3, cents. I've read about all there is to read lately on the Tiger Woods saga and all the media coverage and public response is fascinating . I should make it clear that while cheating on your spouse is not something that I condone or look favourably upon, I also think it's great that we have found out that yet another sports god is a flawed human being just like the rest of us.

I also think it's great that Tiger just proved that even though you might be super rich, good looking, have huge celebrity status, and have a smoking hot wife, it's still so tough to resist the urge to party and chase tail.


Before I get into this further I just want to post one of the best voicemail messages I've ever seen or heard. This is Tiger calling alleged mistress Jamie Grubbs...

“Hey, uh, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.”

How awesome is that? I heard it on TV last night and it's even more enjoyable. He's clearly freaking out and his wife is probably just on the prowl looking for something to club (pun most definitely intended) him with.

Now, the mainstream media is all over Woods for all of this shit, demanding that he inform everyone of what has happened in his personal life and painting him to be this horrible human being, unworthy of holding his throne atop the sports universe. Well, that's stupid.

A) He has the right to handle any personal and family matters with himself and his family. I think the fact that he is attempting to handle this matter with his wife behind closed doors is admirable.

B) He's a rich, powerful, good looking guy. The most recognizable athlete on the planet. Take a quick look in the mirror and ask yourself how easy it would be to avoid all temptations. It may be difficult to admit but the answer is NOT easy.

C) What the fuck does cheating on your wife have to do with being amazing at golf?

We put athletes and other celebs like Tiger up on a pedestal and when they act inappropriately we get on our moral high horse and destroy their image. Tiger Woods is a professional golfer, he is not the Pope.

Another thing that bothers me is people cursing Tiger for his actions since he is a role model for so many young people. Tiger Woods should be a role model for his children and people that he has built relationships with over the course of his life. That's it. Your parents should be role models. Your older brother or sister should be role models. Grandparents, a close neighbour or friend, a coach, a teacher, Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd. Role models. A professional golfer that you have never met and really know next to nothing about? Not your role model. Someone that you can strive to be like in terms of athletic achievement? Absolutely.

I'm very interested to see how Tiger handles all of this in the future and how he performs on the course with even more attention on him. I might be cheering for him more than ever.

What do you guys think? Has the Tiger Woods saga changed your opinion of him? Feel free to comment on this issue. Just, uh, sign in and tell us what you think. Maybe we'll respond to a couple in a future post. If you could do that for us it would be great. Huge. Quickly. Bye.