tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46308455785610594192024-03-20T07:24:02.661-04:003 Dustersteebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-44439085417506228722010-03-15T22:14:00.008-04:002010-03-16T00:17:58.428-04:00Vegetables Are Bad For YouDo people really enjoy eating vegetables?<br /><br />This is a question I occasionally ponder, and I still haven't found a clear cut answer. I guess the easy answer is yes. Vegetarians/vegans must really enjoy eating them, right? Or do they? I feel like being a vegetarian/vegan is more of a choice based on the process of the meat manufacturing business than anything. No one can really like vegetables enough to eat them almost exclusively, can they?<br /><br />I think vegetable consuming people fall into 3 categories.<br /><br />A) The people who only eat veggies because they are good for them. These are the people who cook the shit out of vegetables, pour some sort of sauce all over them, mix them in with their mashed potatoes, rice, etc.. The people who convince themselves that since they eat corn and potatoes with most of their meals that they're pretty much getting their recommended veggie intake. If you haven't figured it out yet, this is me 100%.<br /><br />B) The people who are trying to lose weight or are following some sort of diet for whatever reason. These are the people who force large amounts of veggies into their faces even though they hate their lives doing it. These are the girls out there who go to restaurants and order a salad, when everyone knows they really want the steak and potatoes. They fool themselves into thinking they enjoy what they are doing.<br /><br />C) The mysterious creature that actually fills up their plate with greens, and loves it. A true anomaly.<br /><br />I have a little anecdote to share with you to help you see where I'm coming from.<br /><br />The other day I was having a conversation about either video games or pornography or both with my buddy James and he informed me that he was in the process of cooking up what he referred to as a "dirty" stir-fry. Curious like a cat, I asked what sort of ingredients he was using for this unclean meal. He enthusiastically told me that there was some chicken, garlic, carrots, broccoli, and then I stopped caring.<br /><br />I asked, "Do you really enjoy eating that?" "Do you really love a meal that includes so many vegetables?"<br /><br />His answer was basically this: "They are fine when you cook them with meat and stuff and can't really taste them."<br /><br />Is it not strange that we eat things that we don't want to fully taste? I sure wouldnt want my steak to be cooked in a manner where I couldn't really taste it. My chicken wings better not be cooked with any ingredients where I can't enjoy their full flavour.<br /><br />Another one that I can't really wrap my head around is eating mushrooms with steak. I know they aren't tecnhically veggies, but still. I actually hear that this dish is fantastic. Really though?I've tried mushrooms, and there's no doubt in my mind that they would hinder my ability to fully enjoy my juicy steak.<br /><br />I'm making this sound like I eat zero vegetables, which isn't really true. Like I said before, as a category A veggie eater, I'm a huge corn and potato guy. 2 of the most useless vegetables a person can ingest. Here's a quick list of the other veggies I occasionally consume:<br /><br />- Broccoli (with half a bottle of cheese whiz on top)<br />- Tomatoes (Ketchup, spaghetti sauce)<br />- Carrots (chopped up in tiny little pieces and dropped in some type of soup broth)<br />- Lettuce (an ingredient in the footlong subs I get which also include cheese, meat, a lot of ranch or southwest sauce, and a non-whole wheat form of bread)<br />- Peas (See Carrots)<br />- Onion (Either in Ring form, or in French Onion Soup)<br />- Pickles (vegetables?)<br />- Vegetable Thins (crackers)<br /><br />OK, so I'm reaching a bit at the end there, gimme a break.<br /><br />The point is vegetables are dumb.<br /><br />If you are one of those insane people who actually enjoys eating them, please enlighten me as to why they are so great.<br /><br />Anyways, I just got some McDonalds coupons in the mail today, gotta go check those out. Later.teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-4538809412788248442010-03-08T13:58:00.003-05:002010-03-08T14:17:45.625-05:00Shorts!? Really!!??I made my way up to the University campus on this beautiful day to have my grad photos taken. I enjoyed the drive along Taunton and up Simcoe with my windows down while I blasted Yeasayer. The unseasonably warm weather had me in jeans, a polo, and a rather heavy jacket which I probably didn't need to wear but was glad I did when I walked anywhere which the sun was not exposed. I parked my vehicle and began my 5 minute walk to the Student Centre to make love to the camera, on my way I came across a once endangered species, a species that now seems to be anything but endangered, but rather becoming more and more prevalent throughout North America every year. I am talking about, of course, the shortus weareritis. I said it myself earlier, it was a beautiful day, but that doesn't mean it's anywhere near warm up enough for short pants. I checked the weather app on my phone and to my surprise it was only 8 degress out, the way some of these plugs were dressed you woulda thought it was 35. I saw a few guys in shorts and t shirts, and then I saw a pair of dudes in shorts, hoodies, and one was even wearing a freaking toque! How is it that your head and ears as well as your arms are cold enough to cover up with material, but your legs are too warm, and need to be exposed? I know that everybody is getting excited because of the recent warm weather, but let's not get carried away people. Keep your legs covered until it hits 10 or 15 degrees at the very least.Goodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02852403064038164615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-23217046835572875392010-03-08T11:48:00.005-05:002010-03-08T13:13:03.165-05:00I Can't Think of a Witty TitleGood to see the other 2 dusters get back in the mix here. Just hopped on here to touch on a few topics real quick.<br /><br />1) I didn't even watch the finale of the Bachelor. After Gia got the boot and it became clear that Vienna was gonna take the cake I completely lost interest. The meaningless and horrible "Women Tell All" episode certainly didn't help the cause. I would like to point out that in an earlier column I predicted Ali becoming the next Bachelorette, which is actually happening. Good for me.<br /><br />2) Ryan Howard is an idiot. If anyone reading this has ever watched a minute of baseball, please watch <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=7179423">this</a> (Hazel Mae with a nice appearance). There is so much wrong with his response about hitting .300 I can't even begin to fathom what is going through his head. "...I don't think people take into account how many hits I have taken away from the shift....if you add those hits back in, I'm hitting close to .300..." What the hell is that? Add those hits back in? Who does this guy think he is?<br /><br />This is pretty much the equivalent of a reporter asking Alex Ovechkin, "Alex, what would it take for you to score 70 goals this year?" "Well, I feel like I've scored 70 goals every year, I don't think people take into account the goals that I've scored that get taken away by the goalies making saves."<br /><br />News Flash: If you hit .270, you hit .270, you don't get to change the 30 line drives or deep fly balls that were caught into hits. Retard. Maybe he'd like to take away a few of his 200 strikeouts a year and change those into hits too. Might push him to .320. What a joke.<br /><br />3) Nabber's not gonna like this, but I've recently made my first attempt at quitting dip/chew. I've been off the Skoal for a couple weeks now. I'm certainly aware of the negative effects it has on one's health, but that's not really what's behind my attempt to quit. It's the $15 price tag on tins at my local convenience stores and gas stations. Yes, I know they sell them for $10 at Smokey's Way on Simcoe, but even that's a lot. It should be noted that I've never really been a bigtime dipper compared to some people I know. I'd bang out 1 tin, occasionally 2 tins, per week, nothing major. So, you would think it wouldn't be that hard to stop...<br /><br />Let's just say I'm absolutely dying for a pinch lately. I think about it all the time. I miss everything about it. It sucks.<br /><br />4) Back to baseball real quick. I read a post on facebook where some guy that I don't know said "Vernon Wells needs to take hitting lessons". Of course, this bothered me. Hitting lessons? Really? Here's a lesson for everyone. Baseball is not golf, no one takes lessons. You take batting practice. You do hitting drills. Figure it out.<br /><br />Here's one more lesson. Don't chirp my boyfriend Vernon, he's doing his best.<br /><br />5) A few posts back I recommended The Hurt Locker to our readers. It won Best Picture last night at The Oscars and set a record for being the lowest grossing movie to win that award. I thought it was one of the more deserving winners in recent years. I was glad to see it beat out the overhyped, and maybe slightly overrated, Avatar.<br /><br />That's about all for now. I'm gonna go buy 100 Skoal tins.teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-82345480614982378862010-03-05T00:17:00.006-05:002010-03-05T00:49:50.350-05:00Since You've Been GoneeeeeThe recent effort of Nabber and myself has been pretty brutes marutes, kudos to Tbo for keeping things afloat with news of the bachelor while Nabber and I neglected this once widely popular blog.<br /><br />A lot has happened since I last posted, the Olympic Games have come and gone to some scrutiny and much fanfare across Canada. The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love has come to a stupid yet predictable ending, and believe it or not; I actually have made my way to a place of excerice on a somewhat regular basis...pretty much look like The Situation these days.<br /><br />Much has been written about the Olympic Games in Vancouver, Tbo talked about how some nations blasted the games for the small technical difficulties during the opening ceremonies and the lack of snow throughout Vancouver and Whistler, as well as the lack of organization during the 2 week celebration of sport. I agree with him that it is ridiculous for these people to ridicule the games for reasons which are out of our hands, as well as simple glitches that probably shouldn't have happened, but have no bearing on the outcome of any of the events. Now that the games are over it seems the only people that are still sour are the Russians, but this probably has more to do with the poor showing by their athletes than the Games themselves.<br /><br />From a viewing perspective I thought the games were amazing, the coverage on TSN, CTV and Sportsnet (sorry APTN and RDS but you both suck) had many people waking up early and even more going to bed late so they could watch the ending of some ridiculous event that they would otherwise flip right by. I think that is what makes the games so amazing, especially when they are in Canada and so many of our athletes have a chance at doing something amazing. Watching something like Skeleton would never be exciting if it weren't for some beauty competing, winning, and boozing on the street after. Like Nabber, I won't be watching quite as much when the games are in Snookie, Russia, or whatever the place was called, but I am glad I had the opportunity to see such a successful Olympics Games in Canada in my lifetime.<br /><br /> On a side note, I loved the segments showing the medal winners with "I Believe" playing in the background, but If I ever hear that song again I'm going to lose my mind.<br /><br /><br />The Bachelor is over and Jake chose Vienna. The ending was lame, the after the rose show after was even lamer and I probably won't ever watch this show again.....Who am I kidding, did you hear Ali is the next Bachelorette? Who is down for a pool, $20 a person, winner take all? Viewing party at my house every week, be there.<br /><br />Oh yes, The gym....I've been a few times, hate my life, had Arby's and then wings and deep fried pickles lastnight. Beach....here I come.Goodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02852403064038164615noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-80226927171915214922010-03-03T23:12:00.004-05:002010-03-08T11:40:29.655-05:00Oh ya! I Sometimes (Okay, Rarely) Write For A Blog!Isn't it awful when the only time I come here to write something is when I'm bored out of my tree?<br />I just came to that realization now. Many things enter the old dome during the course of the day that I either find funny, annoy me or just plain piss me off, but I do not come on here to post such thoughts. Well, starting now I am making a pledge to all of you (insert joke about having little to no readers here) that I will make more of an effort to contribute to this thing.<br /><br />Now, having just read the previous post (dated February 17th - meaning Teebs and Goody never come on here either...I am not alone!), I'm going to give my two cents on the 2010 Winter Olympic Games.<br /><br />I'll say this: I usually don't watch the Olympics with great interest, but this year I was watching every day and loving almost of of the events (the cross-country skiing makes for bad television, yet no one is more exhausted or looks like they gave more effort than when the skiers cross the finish line).<br /><br />Where was I? Oh yes...The games were pretty fantastic and it's great the Canadian athletes made such a strong push at the end to set a record for Gold Medals - the last being capped off with a Sidney Crosby OT winner. Incredible.<br /><br />I don't know if I'll watch the next Olympic games as closely as I watched these, being that were on home soil, but I have more of an appreciation of the athletes and the events.<br /><br />And now onto something that boils my blood often...the eternal whipping boys...Your Toronto Black Jays!!!<br /><br />I don't know if I've touched on this before, but why is the formerly monikered SkyDome now called "Rogers Centre"? Do they play hockey or basketball in there?<br />Seriously, who came up with such a ludicrous idea for a ballpark name?<br />Only a Canadian marketing whiz would come up with such an idea. And only someone with no baseball sense would come up with the black jerseys with the abbreviated "Jays"on the front. I'll get to that later.<br /><br />Only one other ballpark is called something other than field, park or stadium, and that's the Oakland Alameda Coliseum. I think that's what it's called. They play football in there too. Whatever, I'm fine with that.<br /><br />I believe that some imbecile said, "Hey, hockey rinks and basketball arenas are called centres, so we can ours one too." No, you can't moron. It's a ballpark. A Field. A Stadium. What the hell would be wrong with Rogers Field? Tell me.<br />It's the exact thing I hate about the Black Jays right now. They're making some strides to return to being a competitive ballclub, but sometimes they seem interested in things other than baseball.<br />Black Jays Marketing Whiz - "Let's call it a Centre so people will think there's other things to do other than watch the actual baseball game."<br /><br />Wrong idea. The way to get fans to the ballpark is by putting a winner of the field. Simple.<br />Same with the uni's. Let's change the uniforms so people will buy new jerseys and hats because we're losing money.<br /><br />Well, put a better club out there and you won't have to change your colors every 5 years and be a joke.<br />Yankees? Red Sox? Not a joke.<br />That brings me to my final point about the "Jays" thing.<br /><br />I despise the fact that it says Jays on their jersey and that Sportsnet and Rogers has the nerve to say "Rogers Jays baseball".<br />Again, some fool thought that because fans casually refer to the Blue Jays as the "Jays" ("Hey, wanna go to the Jays game?"), that it was alright to refer to them that way on TV and in print. It looks bush league.<br />When you watch a Yankees game on YES, they never say "Yanks", it's always Yankees baseball.<br /><br />That's what drives me bananas about the Blue Jays organization. Until they change some of these things (which may seem minor or even ridiculous to the casual fan), they will never be an historic franchise. They may never be one anyway, but it would go a long way with me if they started acting like a baseball team. That's just what happens I guess when you live in a country in which the sport isn't number one, and never will be.<br />Bit of a rant...Nabberhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10142460650319218985noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-52386920563410091162010-02-17T14:34:00.005-05:002010-02-17T16:02:09.527-05:00Don't Rain On Our ParadeWhile this post would usually be a lenghty Bachelor recap, I have other things on my mind today. However, I will quickly, and I mean very quickly, touch on Monday's events...<br /><br />- It's official, Jake is without penis<br />- Gia's boobs are amazing<br />- Tenley, while very attractive, is way too dull and boring<br />- Vienna is a gargoyle, and she's just a weird girl. She's not cool, not funny, and certainly not endearing. Tenley is void of personality but she's at least a nice, polite girl.<br />- My prediction of this week's rose ceremony was correct *patting self on back*<br />- Vienna will win.<br />- Watch out for the Ali factor. In the name of ratings and entertainment she could make some sort of comeback down the road when Jake realizes that Vienna is a joke.<br />- Ali or Tenley = the next Bachelorette.<br /><br />Alright on to something that's caught my attention over the past few days. People slamming they city of Vancouver and the 2010 Winter Olympic Games.<br /><br />This is where our Canadian politeness and graciousness need to take a major backseat and we tell the world to STFU already. That means Shut the Fuck Up for those who don't know. I guess I could've just written that, oh well. Anyways...<br /><br />The London Free Press did a little piece on the Vancouver games possibly being the worst games ever. Somehow they had the nerve to cite the rainy weather as being a major problem. I saw some British tard saying how it looks pretty bad to the rest of the world when the Winter Games are being held in a city with warm and rainy weather. Another factor being the tragic death of the Georgian luge athlete, where many critics are blaming the poor track design and safety precautions for the young man's death.<br /><br />Here were my initial reactions to this.<br /><br />A) London, England looking down upon the rainy Vancouver weather? Are you shitting me? London, England? Doesn't it rain there every other day? Give me a break. I hope a giant freak unstoppable hurricane somehow makes its way up the Atlantic and hits London for the 2012 Summer Games.<br /><br />B) Munich, 1972. That's it. 11 Isreali athletes and coaches killed by terrorists during the Summer Games. If you don't know the whole story read <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munich_massacre">this</a>. Or go rent the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0408306/">movie</a> which tells the story of the aftermath of those events. You want to talk about deaths in the Olympic games? Start there. The death of the Georgian athlete was obviously terrible. I don't want to sound insensitive but we can't just blame the organizers here. He was an inexperienced luger who did not even compete at the same level as most of his competitors in this event. A few thousand runs have been made down Vancouver course and this is the first time anything close to this magnitude has taken place. It is extremely unfortunate and sad, but it should not be a reason to bash this event as a whole.<br /><br />OK, one more thing. I've lost a lot of respect for Rick Reilly as a sports writer in the past year or so. For those of you who don't know Rick Reilly, he's a highly acclaimed sports writer, former columnist for Sports Illustrated and now for ESPN.<br /><br />I haven't read much Reilly since he left SI, and, in my opinion his work has sucked balls since he left. I've read his last couple columns (<a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=reilly_rick&id=4906756">Column 1</a>,<a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=reilly_rick&id=4916058"> Column 2</a>) which are attempts at poking fun at Canadian stereotypes and such, but to me he just comes off sounding like the stereotypical arrogant American. Some of the stuff he goes for just isn't even funny, nor accurate (apparently we say "arse" instead of "butt"). In his second column he offers up the old "I was just kidding, don't be so sensitive" card, then proceeds to slam the opening ceremonies among other things.<br /><br />If you're gonna do an article making digs at another country's culture quirks, it's gotta be accurate and at least moderately funny, otherwise you better expect some backlash. And there's nothing worse than the "I was just kidding" play. No one likes the guy who throws daggers and then backs off when people get a little offended.<br /><br />Come on, Rick. You're better than that.teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-23684290586361841302010-02-10T12:50:00.006-05:002010-02-10T13:25:38.248-05:00If You Don't Read This Post I'm Gonna Be Doing Backflips!I don't really have much to say about the events that transpired on this week's episode of The Bachelor.<br /><br />I thought it was easily the worst episode thus far. Just a complete overload of Jake being soft and the ladies being totally nuts. The grandmother spirit thing with Ali was just so over the top and Tenley's dance was just ridiculous. I was speechless after that performance and she immediately went into Vienna status. Meaning she fell 100 levels in my books, at least.<br /><br />Ali leaving at the end was the most lame thing I've seen in a while when it comes to reality television. The simple choice is to go home and go to work if you have to. If he really wants to he'll get in touch with you later and you can get back to the love business. Done deal. Making that choice isnt nearly as difficult as she made it out to be. At least it shouldn't be.<br /><br />Tenley's dance was ridiculous. End of story.<br /><br />Can they make Tenley's ex-husband's image any worse? They make this guy sound like a complete douchebag all the time and I bet he's not even a bad guy at all. In fact, when Jake said he was the exact opposite of her ex I instantly came to to the conclusion that the ex would be one of the coolest guys ever.<br /><br />I don't even remember what Vienna was doing in this episode because I probably changed the channel. I remember her Dad looking like a real winner though. Also, I love the Dads out there who still refer to there grown ass daughter as their little princess to their prospective boyfriends. Let's cut the fairy tale stuff at 18 or something. Your daughter's boyfriend doesn't want to think of her as your "little princess" when he's doing the no pants dance with her.<br /><br />Gia's whole family meeting was alright I guess. I also heard that her brother is being cast for season 2 of Jersey Shore. What a plug that guy was.<br /><br />Quote of the season so far (paraphrasing here): "If Ali decides to leave I'll be so upset I'll be doing backflips." - Jake<br /><br />Come on, Ned Flanders. Backflips?<br /><br />Oh yeah, one more thing. Was the L-bomb that Ali dropped really that big of a deal? I didn't think so. They pretty much tell each other that they love each other every 10 minutes with the "I'm falling in love with you line". Maybe it's me being a guy but I don't really see the difference. The show even went so far as to subtitle the "I love you" in case we suddenly lost our understanding of the English language.<br /><br />That's it for Jake and the Gang. I'll throw a prediction out for the rest of the season.<br /><br />Next week: Vienna and Tenley move on, Gia gets sent home<br />Finale: Vienna wins<br /><br />Which is exactly the opposite of what I would do.teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-78336402310407888602010-02-03T14:11:00.003-05:002010-02-03T14:37:36.879-05:00I'm a Fuckin Soldier! And I'm Old School...First I'd like to thank Kellen Winslow, Jr. for inspiring the title for this post (what a loser).<br /><br />Let's get right to it. I do not watch reality television (First 48 and programs like that are not the same), so I will not be commenting on The Bachelor and the moronic Jersey Shore escapades.<br /><br />Garbage. Horseshit. Vomit.<br /><br />These are just a few of the words that come to mind when I think of these shows.<br />I am an intelligent, educated man and I will not subject myself to the advances of these ludicrous programs that are infiltrating my TV set based mostly on the fact that they can be produced on thye cheap. They don't have to pay actors. They have to pay for talent. Simple.<br /><br />Now I will admit, I'm somewhat bitter. I've always dreamed about becoming an award winning thespian, so the idea that these people are on TV and in movies with no talent or experience rankles me...<br /><br />"Oh, The fucking Situation is on television and is making money and then when the shows over will make even more money because of the show...he's on TV but I'm not?"<br /><br />Can I be famous? Can I make lots of money? Someone help me out here. Why can't Teebs, Goody and Myself be on a show? It'd be funnier than anything out there. Book it!<br /><br />Anyway, I'm an old school kind of guy. I like watching sports, old Seinfeld and Fresh Prince re-runs and a good ole Catch-the-bad-guy-crime show. Call me old fashioned, but I like watching things that make me say, "Well that's absolutely hilarious. No way I could do <em>that."</em><br /><em></em><br />I go to the gym, go for a tan and do laundry everyday pal...except I actually do none of those things on a daily basis.<br />I'm lazy, so no gym there.<br />I don't tan in the winter that's just silly.<br />And my girlfriend does my laundry.<br /><br />But I could do those things! I could...I really could.<br /><br />On a side note, I love the Leafs trade. Burkie is not fooling around. They won the deal, Phaneuf will step his game up and Giguere will get back to being a very good goalie now that he's re-united with Francois Allaire, his old goaltending coach.<br /><br />And I like the Colts in the SuperBowl this weekend. I don't like predicting scores, but I think the Saints might be a little too amped up. The Colts, for the most part (and more importantly Peyton Manning) have been there before, so I think Indy takes it.<br />What? You want a score?...Ok, Ok.<br /><br />Colts 34<br />Saints 23Nabberhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10142460650319218985noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-48850331442395215752010-02-02T22:24:00.007-05:002010-02-03T01:27:31.800-05:00Jake The Snake Needs to Grow a Pair<div style="text-align: left;">1. That link in the post below showing Snooki getting absolutely clocked by the drunk guy is mesmerizing. What a shot. I challenge you not to watch that punch 10 times in a row. It's incredible. The guy with the white hat in the back watching the whole thing is great too. The recording cuts off right before his jaw falls off his face.</div><div><br /></div><div>2. I'd just like to acknowledge the reader comments from my previous post. To Adrienne, there may very well be 9 reasons why I watch Jersey Shore, and "titties" is likely one of those. However, Ed Hardy enjoyment doesn't come anywhere close to cracking the list. A) I don't own a single article of Ed Hardy clothing. B) Seeing as it is adored by guidos, I don't think I'll be hitting up my local retailer anytime soon. </div><div><br /></div><div>Also, the comment by Mr. or Ms. Anonymous has raised a few questions for me. Popping corn, sitting on a couch and getting my head rubbed sounds like an outstanding trio of events, but who am I doing this with? I'm going to assume either Goody or Nabber, and I would gladly pop corn and get a head rub from either of those 2 fine gentlemen. Please clarify. Also, what is Broke Back Mounting? Never heard of it....</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Alright let's move on to what I really came to do...A quick recap of last night's events on the Bachelor.</div><div><br /></div><div>I could be completely alienating the 10 person fanbase that we've accumulated here but that's just too bad. To those of you who question my sexuality for watching this show, think what you want. Unfortunately, at this point in my life I have no solid evidence to show that I'm not a homosexual. Let's get to it...</div><div><br /></div><div>First of all, this guy just needs to man up once in a while. There were moments in this episode where Jake could've really showed me that he actually has a pair and instead he just pussies out. For example, during the date with Corrie they come to an absolute standstill in the boat, where she is pretty much begging for him to kiss her without actually saying "Hey, idiot, just lean over here and lay one on me, you pussy." What does he do? He sits there and after an excruciating few moments of silence he says, "I'm about ready for dinner." Nice play. </div><div><br /></div><div>Sidenote: I didn't even include Corrie on the poll which was made before the show aired. That's how forgettable she was and obviously she paid the price. </div><div><br /></div><div>Gia is probably the best looking girl on the show and I think Jake knows it. I think if he was asked who he would most like to have sex with it would be her. Hmm, why don't they ask stuff like that? Talk about a ratings booster. Who wouldn't like to see Jake sit down with the host and be questioned about stuff like that? Or, how cool would it be if at this point he had the option to sleep with one of them, but the girl he chooses is immediately eliminated from the show? Would there be any takers there? What are the other consequences if he does take that route? Do the other girls get to know? What a concept. </div><div><br /></div><div>Who am I kidding, this is the same guy who said something about how he could could curl up with Ali and feel safe with her. Wow. Nevermind, that idea wouldn't even be discussed with Jake. </div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of Ali, she's probably got the most personality of any of them. I'd take her with Gia's looks. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tenley looks to be the frontrunner right now, which is no real surprise as she has about as little personality as Jake does. I'm not really surprised to learn that she's a divorcee. What normal guy would be able to talk about nothing all day, even with a good looking girl like that. I'm also not surprised to see that Jake is into her considering he has no personality to speak of either. </div><div><br /></div><div>Last, and most certainly least, comes Vienna, who is a sick joke. She's crosseyed for starters, and she's a retard. Bad combo. I've heard rumours that he picks her in the end, which would be the biggest joke of all time. It would suit him though, he'll probably pick her out of fear that she'll kill him or herself if she doesn't get chosen.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's about all I have for now. If you've been tuning in, great work, let me know what you think of what has transpired so far. If you haven't, get with the program and start watching. I'll probably be back next Tuesday to comment on this matter. </div><div><br /></div>teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-50881356115451014982010-02-01T00:59:00.002-05:002010-02-01T01:22:44.838-05:00Sloppy Seconds and Fist Pumpin' Like Champs!I wasn’t going to talk about sports but I think it’s almost impossible not to after the big news out of Leaf Land earlier today. I first heard the news about the Phaneuf trade through sportsnet (yes, I admit I was actually watching this poor excuse of a sports channel). It was early Sunday (around 2pm) and I was just waking up, at first I thought I had dreamt it, the dream involved myself, Dion, Elisha, and those sloppy seconds Sean Avery had referred to last year, let’s just say it was a good dream. Once I finally came to I immediately hopped on the internet and read all about the blockbuster deal that sent Phaneuf, a prospect, and that guy who scored that sweet end to end goal for Phoenix a few years back to Toronto in exchange for Hagman, Stajan, White, and Mayars. There is no doubt that this trade will be analyzed to death by the professionals over the next few weeks/months/ years throughout Toronto/GTA/Ontario/Canada. <br /><br /> I think it is interesting and probably a good deal for the Leafs. They often say whoever gets the best player in the trade is usually the winner, in this case it is Phaneuf. Can’t say the Leafs didn’t win anything this year. The other trade, although not as big, may prove to be more beneficial, not for the fact that the Leafs got a once dominate goaltender in J.S. Giguere, but rather the fact that they got rid of Jason Blake and that stupid contract...oh, and that goalie...Vesa what’s his bucket. As a Leaf fan I guess that I am happy about the trades, here’s hoping there is more retooling this trade deadline and throughout the off season.<br /><br />Now onto the important stuff, reality television! I, like Tbo, am a huge fan of this garbage, it’s a guilty pleasure. My reality T.V. watching days began many moons ago with such gems as Average Joe’s, Joe Millionaire, Temptation Island, Laguna Beach, and perhaps my favourite; The Joe Schmo Show. I am well aware that most of these programs are mind numbing garbage but it’s just so hard to look away. The more ridiculous they are; the better. Jersey Shore was one of the more memorable reality programs in recent years, I mean, what’s not to love? There were blow outs, fist pumps, <a href="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/2009/12/snooki.gif">teachers punching hobbits</a>, hot tub parties and of course, a duck phone...all of this lead to T.V. gold. <br /><br />One of the greatest T.V. role models was born during the Jersey Shore...of course I am referring to Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. Parents, take notes, this guy is what your child could grow up to become if you continue to use top notch parenting skills. His daily regimen of gym, tan, laundry, or GTL, as many refer to it, is the definition of hard work and determination and is surely a product of a stern, military style upbringing. His self confidence and exquisite sense of style must have been passed down to him from a gentleman of a father. Not to be overlooked is his ability to look for personality in a girl over looks, which must be the reason why he often brought home girls which were less than good looking, this is clearly something that was passed down to him from his mother. He also has great communication skills and knows when not to hit a girl, even if she throws a deadly spinning left hook. One of these days I hope to be like The Situation, being well into my 50’s and living at a house full of 20 something’s that I still consider my peers. I just hope my parents raised me as well as the Sorrentinos. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglrGXhJsPL0P2-PYl-sh6Tpbpu0NjTvIBJasOx-pusLzBChsB3kr6zx983xXQPBcsAiaTVdw9eMebcabI99UYd-rMOcOWvJQ7pVw0BSDS1fDwG-qxeE3CLN2uSRLR8rA-BcrgziBmYbCTg/s1600-h/mike-the-situation-306x460.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglrGXhJsPL0P2-PYl-sh6Tpbpu0NjTvIBJasOx-pusLzBChsB3kr6zx983xXQPBcsAiaTVdw9eMebcabI99UYd-rMOcOWvJQ7pVw0BSDS1fDwG-qxeE3CLN2uSRLR8rA-BcrgziBmYbCTg/s320/mike-the-situation-306x460.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433156559950857826" /></a><br /><br />Jersey Shore has recently been renewed for another season, here is hoping that it will continue to provide us with all things guido, until then I will be watching as Jake picks his fiancé, If he chooses Vienna Sausage over Tetley Tea I am sure you will be reading about it on your favourite blog....Goodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02852403064038164615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-58550294346636949562010-01-23T17:30:00.005-05:002010-01-23T19:19:30.782-05:00Snookin For LoveDoes anyone still read this??<br /><br />What great dedication the 3 of us have here. We come back after a huge hiatus and bang out a few posts, then Goody and I take another month off and Nabber tosses in a Mark McGwire post about a week after it was actual news. (Great post though Nabber, agreed with all of it, I miss your face).<br /><br /><br />Anyways, we've been talking way too much about sports lately. Who really gives a damn about sports in January when you live in the GTA? Seriously. Everyone sucks. It's depressing.<br /><br />Instead of talking about sports I'm just gonna hit you with a few things that matter to me on this particular day.<br /><br />1. It's Saturday night and I'll be heading out to the Whitby scene with a few of the boys soon. (No Girls Allowed). What the fuck happened to this place? When I was 19 this town was full of decent bars to go to. Now where can I go? The Tap & Tankard andddddd..... yeah that's it. OTR is now the Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch Outlet Mall, Lava is just flat out gone (RIP), Heat is, well... Heat, and Sand Bar/110/Echo/former gay bar/Rodeo Saloon is just god awful. Oh, and what a horrible name. Rodeo Saloon? Fuck that's creative. Let's just pick out two Western related words and put them together. I guess Cowboy Ranch didn't make the cut. Awful.<br /><br />2. TV viewing has been pretty solid lately. What more can be said about Jersey Shore? You could tell from the previews of this show that it was destined for greatness. I'd easily put it in my top 5 reality shows of all time. My only gripe is that there was no mention of the "My New Haircut" video by MTV or anyone for that matter. The After Show or something should've done a segment where they used pieces from that video and ran them in comparison with some of the moments on the show. It would've been outstanding. Maybe I'll work on that for the blog here. Ha, yeah right...<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430091292779253586" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FrER9NUflO92Ctwzkyxif2mPWaFIlZGnlTkeDIwcNpaZsnfzgB6AaLdG0ruV01A3H0DRUlP1awIUcN5r1qQZFFvQiz3APZgJRdej6rmt4gunWgc1e5YOWKzkAP-1vyn9UpZngpP1GlUd/s320/jersey-shore-cast.jpg" border="0" /><br />I'm hooked on The Bachelor as well. He's so fuckin cute. Whaaaat...I mean I'm hooked on the show. 2 hours is a little much, there are far too many gratuitous ab shots of the guy and I don't see how going to an amusement park with 5 girls would ever be fun, but what the hell. I get to see a bunch of chicks (several with storebought boobs) parade around and listen to all the dumb things they say. I also get to listen to my dad ask me if I'm "turning gay on him" and if I'm ever going to get a girlfriend again. Awesome.<br /><br />3. If you haven't already, go watch the movie The Hurt Locker. There were a lot of good movies in 2009 that Avatar is completely overshadowing, and this is definitely one of them. Avatar was great, no doubt, but not THAT great. Other than the visuals, which are definitely amazing, the rest is standard fare. I'm not gonna sit here and hate on Avatar, it was very good. The Hurt Locker was just a really cool movie. I haven't seen a movie where I actually gave a fuck about the characters in a while, but I did in this. Just really gripping and very entertaining all around. Jesus, what is this, Ebert and Roeper? Just go rent it, it's sweet.<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430091812422304786" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 183px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 259px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ZOAjToyqPMcijUiHESojei2XKcAoKMHzXGywh8CE-07VZFAqk-whAHmjn2Gh3e5NFBdbwe8Q9Q2Voo0zmJ-Pl-kVgB86LtHGoqzoA7SvPtkt8WllOG3B409qU0NtNSHIHEChz9OZUDVU/s320/hurt_locker_ver3.jpg" border="0" /><br />Well that was a nice change from talking about the Black Jays and Gayple Leafs. I'm gonna throw out my NFL picks for fun though for all you sports junkies.<br /><br />Colts 23 Jets 13<br /><br />Vikings 31 Saints 28<br /><br />By the way, I'm 2-6 so far. Those are probably losing picks.<br /><br />Peace.teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-51845439965217581752010-01-20T14:05:00.004-05:002010-01-20T14:45:41.000-05:00Mark McGLiarHello out there!<br /><br />Just wanted to give my take on the whole Mark McGwire situation, even though it's somewhat "old news" at this point.<br /><br />Mark McGwire is a joke. Not because he used steroids though, oh no no no. I understand the "era" for what it was - a time when every Mark, Jose and Barry was able (allowed?) to 'roid up.<br /><br />Since this story broke, a few former players have spoken out about this issue, including Jack Clark and the great Carlton Fisk. They're all totally against all of this, and I don't blame them.<br />They were guys who worked hard to get to where they got to, probably without the use of banned substances like steriods.<br /><br />But why should someone like me get all twisted up over this? I didn't play. Roids were NOT against the rules in Major League Baseball, and although I tend to be more on the side of the guys that didn't use, I see clearly the viewpoints of the 'roid users. And I understand why they took them. I don't really blame them, and I'm not angry at all.<br /><br /><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428910254468839810" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh75Q6_FehH6_D0mULKh6XJV6EYM-lqY47Fr1aaFPWqPIxQgHA2dNP6v2eUgx81hvKRmATXNRJvcW_0tR-omK71CXxT2wlmfsiqJfCblkR88QV4xemN1i2350WRrsu-QM2iT3kf9WG43hQ/s200/mark2.jpg" /><br />Back to McGwire. He came out and admitted that he used steroids.<br />Ok that's great Mark, but why don't you go all the way with the truth?<br />McGwire believes that steroids did not help him hit any of his 583 career homeruns.<br />He only used them to "stay healthy and get back onto the field." </div><div><br />Right.<br /><br />Why does he think anyone will buy that? It's such a joke.<br />Again, come out and say you did it, but when you do, just say some thing along the lines of<br />"It was a mistake, and I regret it. I owe some of my numbers to steroids, that's for sure."<br />I would love to see that. So would everyone else.<br /><br />And just as a side not here, McGwire is not a hall of famer either. I believe people should get into the hall of fame regardless of steroid use, but even so, Big Mac's numbers do not stack up enough for me. All he has going for him are the 583 homers. </div><br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 159px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428909237828866082" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhov2px4ggnNltQZxAmdLeYVyh71hZGt7mhI4aDrj0kjhPonXqT-e2MF5GsRLiJSrgCyqVYr2ojrjF0tWk6qft1Dj-iVhO-utwz_ATEc9uARuizxaa2I9cUJu4_r-AL7WoF3G6ADwKF1J4/s200/mark1.jpg" /><br />Now, that's a shit load of dingers, but do me a favour and look at some of the guys in history who have close to, but not quite 500 homers.<br />Then compare the other offensive numbers of those guys to McGwire's.<br /><br />In closing, Mark McGwire might be a good guy, but he's a terrible liar.</p>Nabberhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10142460650319218985noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-2247113493493143222009-12-21T16:21:00.000-05:002009-12-21T16:23:21.601-05:00Don't Do Me Like That, Goody!Word, <br /><br />I know that many of our readers out there are very upset that I haven’t posted anything new on here for a couple months. I’ve heard stories of crying fits, panic attacks, people becoming violently ill, I even had to talk a few people off of ledges with promises of new material very soon, well alas, here is it; prepare to be underwhelmed.<br /><br />Since it has been a while since I have posted I think I can touch on a few different topics, get it out all out of my system, kind of like the way I did early Sunday morning into a nearby garbage pale at my girlfriends house (I owe you). <br />I don’t know about the rest of you twenty somethings out there, but does anybody find it a little depressing that Christmas no longer means pure excitement for the month of December… waking up at 5am on Christmas Day to open up what seemed like a million presents? I just recently finished school, foreeeverrrrr, and with no career in site and the joy of working at 8AM on boxing day at a bitter cold hockey rink this year, I am having trouble getting into the Christmas Spirit. Sure, I have an advent calendar, but cardboard tasting chocolate can only bring you so much joy. I’ve watched a few Christmas movies… I think Christmas Vacation has been on at least one channel at every hour of the day since Dec 1. I’ve bought a few gifts, helped decorate the tree, even attended a Christmas Concert, yet it still sits in the back of my mind that Christmas will never be as fun as it was when I was 10, getting old and having responsibilities sucks, am I right?<br /><br />Enough with the emo garbage, let’s move on to something less depressing… like Toronto sports teams (did I say less depressing?) 2010 could very well be another depressing year in the life of a Toronto sports fan. With the trade of Dr. Hal O’Day by the Black Jays, it is going to be another long year at the Rogers Centre. I will continue to root for the Jays, and I like the fact that we got some promising young prospects from the Phillies and A’s, but it is not going to change the fact that the Jays will most likely finish 4th or 5th in the AL East. Black Jays.<br /><br />The Argo’s are a joke…well the CFL is a joke, so even if the Argo’s were good, they’d be a joke by default. They just fired their coach, his name was Bart, enough said. <br /><br />The Raptors changed their roster drastically this off season and promised a good product on the floor, this year. Every game they lose and give up 378pts the more I think Colangelo is not the genius we were promised. Win a playoff series guys.<br /><br />TFC; gay. <br /><br /> That leaves us with everybody’s favorite sports franchise, the May Pull Leifs. Could it be that the team that everybody has shit on at the beginning of the year turns it around and makes the playoffs? Could this no talent group of hacks actually win a round, maybe 2? Could they be the most successful sports team in Toronto in 2010? Maybe I’m reaching a little bit, but the recent turnaround of the Leafs has got people talking. The Leafs have certainly been playing better as of late, sitting 4 points out of a playoff position as of Monday afternoon. Phill Kessel has been playing well (other than a couple stinkers against his old team) making the deal that I blasted earlier this year look like it may turn out to be alright. I think the Leafs can pull it together and make a playoff appearance in 2010, especially in the joke that is the Eastern Conference. Here are a few New Year’s resolutions for the Maple Leafs, to ensure that they keep the train rolling into the New Year.<br /><br />They need to play with a little more heart, especially Gustavsson.<br /><br />Matt Stajan needs to contact the people at EA sports and inform them that his name is not pronounced “Stayin”. They’ve been pronouncing it like that in their video games for years, Figure it out.<br /><br />Play with more balls, I’m looking at you Kessel (too soon?)<br /><br />Get rid of Colton orr and Wayne Primeau and bring in their brothers, Keith and Bobby…Bobby is Colton’s brother right? Either way, bring in Bobby Orr.<br /><br />Kaberle needs to grow a beard, he’s got the face of a 6 year old girl.<br /><br />Ron Wilson really needs to stop letting his mother cut his hair, you’re making lots of money Ron, get a real haircut.<br /><br />Make the playoffs.<br /><br />Merry Christmas, y’all!!Goodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02852403064038164615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-46722999047201652052009-12-18T17:33:00.009-05:002009-12-18T20:15:47.044-05:00There's No Roy in Team<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHlZdPZC8LDp4kPjylQhnc0LRfS-CTpgWAW0WxXKYxJHzOHxRoPtN3eQGFrqdD_0gJtYFM3uzwn9HPLCBeGJUhvLTLbQ_6oSGE1N0ynz8tkMpZwB-xuf0mlGHTsZ0bQXq5rlAVzw12nwsL/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5416749799122764306" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 136px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 116px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHlZdPZC8LDp4kPjylQhnc0LRfS-CTpgWAW0WxXKYxJHzOHxRoPtN3eQGFrqdD_0gJtYFM3uzwn9HPLCBeGJUhvLTLbQ_6oSGE1N0ynz8tkMpZwB-xuf0mlGHTsZ0bQXq5rlAVzw12nwsL/s400/images.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_7c1DKXdgv_Oc1vj0symo8lvkwAo5axvY9mMQOC_TuBGH8cmZSnvlJwoxmBL3CRLV4So9-Td0yk7BqqLOiYvhj6-uDieZYOsdDhFXwWq5ycdezxM18145JSWcWJ3jms1cVe7pqlGsNIn5/s1600-h/images.jpg"></a><br /><br /><div>A message to all the fairweather Blue Jay fans who have been spouting off about this Roy Halladay trade: Shut up. There's a reason why you aren't the GM and there are countless reasons why this had to happen. He's gone, we'll all get over it, the team will be fine. Now go save your money for tickets for the home opener, pull out your old school Jays hat and jersey, proceed to watch 10 minutes of the game, get in a fight in the stands, and throw a few empty beer cups on the field. Thanks.<br /><br />There are too many things I want to comment on right now. I've heard and read people say they aren't going to follow the Jays anymore. People are wondering who they can possibly cheer for now that Halladay is gone. Fans believe that Aaron Hill and Adam Lind are now the only useful players we have on the roster.........HUH??<br /><br />Do people really have this stuff going through their brains? Come on people, I certainly get frustrated with this team on a regular basis, but never to that level. If you are a real fan of a team it takes a lot more than trading their best player to abandon them. That's lame.<br /><br />I'm going to throw a few things out here on why people need to figure it out. This has the potential to turn into a huge Vernon Wells rant. Beware.<br /><br />1) To the "fans" who are abandoning all hope and don't want to follow the team anymore: Really? You're done? Come on, it's just one guy when it comes down to it. Plus, he doesn't even play every day. Halladay is the best Blue Jay to ever take the mound that I've witnessed (well, Roger Clemens is, but fuck him) but it's not like he's the only player that matters. He pitches around 30-35 games a year. What's that you say? You only watch when Halladay pitches? Well, that's retarded. You can leave.<br /><br />2) To the people who don't know who they can cheer for now that Halladay, Blue Jay of Blue Jays, has been traded to Philly. Uhhh here's one for ya...everyone else on the fucking team. Hello? You are a Blue Jays fan are you not? You cheer for everyone! That's right, you cheer for everyone on the team regardless of whether or not they are a star player. You don't like certain players on the team? Boo hoo. You think Vernon Wells (uh-oh, here we go) is an overpaid, useless piece of shit? Too bad! He's on the team like everyone else. If Halladay was your favourite player, I get it, it sucks. Follow his starts with the Phils, cheer him on, be glad he isn't killing Toronto with the Yankees or Red sox. Then, go cheer for the entire Jays team.<br /><br />3) To the people who praise Aaron Hill and Adam Lind since only they are worth anything on this lousy squad. Give me a break. One great year apparently gets you MVP status among fairweather Jays fans. I've never seen 2 guys get so much love from the fans for having one good season. Aaron Hill's story is nice, I'm a big fan of his and it was great to see him have a huge comeback year. Lind looks like he's finally figured it out at the big league level and I hope he keeps it going. Both players had the best offensive seasons that Jays fans have seen since 2006, when Troy Glaus and Vernon Wells (yep, it's coming) put up big numbers. Now, Glaus only hit around .250 that year, so maybe he shouldn't be held in the same regard as Lind and Hill. Vernon, however, authored a batting line of .303, 32, 106, quite similar to the numbers Aaron and Adam achieved in the '09 season. Oh, and that isn't even the best season of his career. Fuck it, let's do this.....<br /><br />Yes, its time for the Vernon Wells rant. I've been waiting a long time to do this on this blog.<br /><br />People, forget the huge contract, forget what you think you know about this guy (enough with saying he's lazy and doesn't care, its such bullshit), and know this: Vernon Wells, when he is the real Vernon Wells and not this bandaided imposter we've seen the past couple years, is the best player on this team. You know it's true, stop kidding yourselves.<br /><br />I know people are still going to say, fuck Vernon, he's lazy, doesn't hustle, blah blah blah. Here's something for you to chew on. Fans adore the guys that dive around and get dirty and play baseball 100mph. The Reed Johnsons of MLB. There's a reason why a guy like Reed Johnson has to play like that, and it's largely because he doesn't have the talent and can't play with the efficiency of a guy like Vernon Wells. The hustle guys are great to have for many reasons, but they aren't going to lead you to a ring. If you would rather have a guy like Reed in CF over Vernon you are a total loon.<br /><br />Oh, and the contract, the oft-cursed contract. Ok, the contract sucks, it really does. It sucks even if he is putting up .300, 30 100 numbers. I get it though, the team needed to show the fans that they were willing to shell out the dough to keep our star players around. If the Jays didn't give him the money, someone else was going to give him just as much. But come on, people take this contract thing way too far. It's not your money, why do you care so much what he makes? Should he perform at a high level based on how much money he makes? Yes, but to a degree. I don't know if he can ever really "earn" that money in the haters' eyes at this point.<br /><br />Like I said before, When Wells is on, he is the man, there's no debate. Give me another great year from Hill and Lind and another horrible year from Wells and that can probably be refuted. Until then, it's true, and it really grinds my gears that no one can admit that when the proof is right there.<br /><br />Fans, get your act together and cheer for the team. Sure, they aren't going to be good this year, but don't just bail now and hop back on when they get good again, then you are just as bad as all those Red Sox fans that came out of god knows where back in 04. Man, that was so laaame.<br /><br />As for Vernon, cheer the guy on. No more moans and groans every time he steps up with runners in scoring position. Yeah, he's had a couple rough years, and I'm sure he knows it. He wants to do well as bad as we want him to. Oh, and just so you know, I'm driving the Vernon Wells bandwagon in 2010, and, if you figure it out now, you can all hop on for the summer.<br /><br />Merry Christmas to all of our readers and their families!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Teebs</div></div>teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-14069491129802796472009-12-15T11:27:00.004-05:002009-12-19T11:32:10.345-05:00DOCIf it doesn't happen today, it will become official tomorrow. Roy Halladay will be traded to the Philadelphia Phillies. And you know what? Good. I'm pleased about it, satisfied.<br /><br />Halladay never publicly lashed out and demanded a trade like so many others do. He's a class act and has remained that way until the final days of his Black Jays tenure. He's the best pitcher in baseball.<br /><br />And go ahead and circle next June whatever on your calendar, because that's when Roy and the Phillies head back to Toronto for a three game series at the Rogers Centre. (What kind of baseball team calls their park a "centre" by the way? Call it Rogers Field, Park...Centre is for hockey and basketball arenas. Figure it out.)<br /><br />Back to Halladay. I feel good about him not going to Boston or the Yankees, even though I wouldn't have lost my mind if he did. This trade is not about where he goes/went, it's about what the boys in black get back.<br /><br />If Toronto gets Kyle Drabek, Michael Taylor and Travis D'Arnaud back as reported, I think that's a fine haul. Taylor is 24 and can probably step in right away if not next year, Drabek is 22 and not far away, and D'Arnaud is a 20-year old catching prospect who hit well last year in the minors. (.255, 13, 71, .319) He also hit 38 doubles.<br /><br />When it's all said and done, Halladay is a Phillie, the Black Jays get back some nice prospects, and the fans don't hate Roy for leaving, or worse demanding a trade out of town. Doc should always be remembered in Toronto as one of at least the best two pitchers in franchise history (respect Stieb) and a class act who wanted to win above all else. That's what I'll think of, and I'll always hope he does well no matter where he goes for the rest of his career.<br /><br />Having said all that, when are they trading Overbay? And are we really going to see John Buck and Ramon Castro share the catching duties this year? The answer to that last question is yes! Welcome to the beginning of the rebuild.Nabberhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10142460650319218985noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-75951974158061767102009-12-08T19:37:00.002-05:002009-12-08T19:54:17.785-05:00Go get 'em TigerI just want to quickly revisit this Tiger Woods thing. After learning that he's allegedly been with at least 10 other women while he's been married, my opinion has changed slightly.<br /><br />I wasn't ready to throw Tiger under the bus initially like so many others, but wow, 10? When will the number stop going up? Does he hit 20 soon? 50? 100 kills? Tiger clearly is not who we thought he was, and now I think he should come out from the shadows and speak on the matter, for his own sake.<br /><br />I don't really need to hear about all the filthy little details, but he needs to come out and talk about this. If he's got some sort of problem like a sex addiction or whatever, fine, tell people. At this point he needs to clean up at least some of this mess because it's just getting out of control and he's looking like a bigger scumbag every hour.<br /><br />If he doesn't, in 50 years people won't be talking about Tiger Woods as the greatest golfer of all time, he'll be remembered more for being an adulterous scumbag, which would be a real shame.teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-70450511703104992862009-12-03T16:13:00.005-05:002009-12-03T18:46:07.410-05:00Hey, Uh, It's Tiger.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-d-4V7m7IDAQmkQNaJPS9WMlYsdxYLVY1zETIZx33L8sn9WqysAlt_WxQld_QsOAluKTHwjKdw8SKT_Lyw-rTEMlLZ-hzMcXuAYzEvITd2LAG9Scexi6xHHpponNhiCFEZpNLsPPQZUZN/s1600-h/EMIRATES_GOLF_DUBAI_DESERT_CLASSIC_XLR119280x350.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411135547974034850" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 256px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-d-4V7m7IDAQmkQNaJPS9WMlYsdxYLVY1zETIZx33L8sn9WqysAlt_WxQld_QsOAluKTHwjKdw8SKT_Lyw-rTEMlLZ-hzMcXuAYzEvITd2LAG9Scexi6xHHpponNhiCFEZpNLsPPQZUZN/s320/EMIRATES_GOLF_DUBAI_DESERT_CLASSIC_XLR119280x350.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>With all of this Tiger Woods hoopla taking place it seemed appropriate that the 3 dusters should throw in their 2, or 3, cents. I've read about all there is to read lately on the Tiger Woods saga and all the media coverage and public response is fascinating . I should make it clear that while cheating on your spouse is not something that I condone or look favourably upon, I also think it's great that we have found out that yet another sports god is a flawed human being just like the rest of us.<br /></div><br /><div>I also think it's great that Tiger just proved that even though you might be super rich, good looking, have huge celebrity status, and have a smoking hot wife, it's still so tough to resist the urge to party and chase tail. </div><br /><div><br />Before I get into this further I just want to post one of the best voicemail messages I've ever seen or heard. This is Tiger calling alleged mistress Jamie Grubbs...<br /><br /><em>“Hey, uh, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.”</em><br /><em></em><br />How awesome is that? I heard it on TV last night and it's even more enjoyable. He's clearly freaking out and his wife is probably just on the prowl looking for something to club (pun most definitely intended) him with.<br /><br />Now, the mainstream media is all over Woods for all of this shit, demanding that he inform everyone of what has happened in his personal life and painting him to be this horrible human being, unworthy of holding his throne atop the sports universe. Well, that's stupid.<br /><br />A) He has the right to handle any personal and family matters with himself and his family. I think the fact that he is attempting to handle this matter with his wife behind closed doors is admirable.<br /><br />B) He's a rich, powerful, good looking guy. The most recognizable athlete on the planet. Take a quick look in the mirror and ask yourself how easy it would be to avoid all temptations. It may be difficult to admit but the answer is NOT easy.<br /><br />C) What the fuck does cheating on your wife have to do with being amazing at golf?<br /><br />We put athletes and other celebs like Tiger up on a pedestal and when they act inappropriately we get on our moral high horse and destroy their image. Tiger Woods is a professional golfer, he is not the Pope.<br /><br />Another thing that bothers me is people cursing Tiger for his actions since he is a role model for so many young people. Tiger Woods should be a role model for his children and people that he has built relationships with over the course of his life. That's it. Your parents should be role models. Your older brother or sister should be role models. Grandparents, a close neighbour or friend, a coach, a teacher, Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd. Role models. A professional golfer that you have never met and really know next to nothing about? Not your role model. Someone that you can strive to be like in terms of athletic achievement? Absolutely.<br /><br />I'm very interested to see how Tiger handles all of this in the future and how he performs on the course with even more attention on him. I might be cheering for him more than ever.<br /><br />What do you guys think? Has the Tiger Woods saga changed your opinion of him? Feel free to comment on this issue. Just, uh, sign in and tell us what you think. Maybe we'll respond to a couple in a future post. If you could do that for us it would be great. Huge. Quickly. Bye.</div>teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-88650519561041349602009-11-24T22:21:00.006-05:002009-11-24T22:31:25.101-05:00Clap for the President<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYyCyS-8todgMW6tMqJR3cb3NZKDYD_M3Yk4PLgJc7Edid_YftOF8j3gunmOa7x9sWj8yJbuHPI9iYBh2KIsLXx8wT3Oq5aJKAUecjRmZPxJ4uEQjTmQPQ36MidDEPUnn7U6fdUGrDwvvh/s1600/caeser.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYyCyS-8todgMW6tMqJR3cb3NZKDYD_M3Yk4PLgJc7Edid_YftOF8j3gunmOa7x9sWj8yJbuHPI9iYBh2KIsLXx8wT3Oq5aJKAUecjRmZPxJ4uEQjTmQPQ36MidDEPUnn7U6fdUGrDwvvh/s320/caeser.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5407878176415097730" /></a><br />Due to popular demand, our friend Mike Giorgi is back; and this time he's going historical on your ass. Enjoy his inquisitive look into Sunday night television and Julius Caeser, the inventor of a famous drink and fruity haircut. <br /><br />Late night television on Sundays is brutal. Or so I thought.<br /><br />Judging by the level of boredom I was experiencing it was probably close to 3am and I had already watched the TSN highlights at least twice all the way through. So, like any good insomniac, I went to the channel that never disappoints; Discovery. Now it is important not to take me the wrong way here. Normally, this would lead to a number of things which would include, but not be limited to, the following:<br /><br />1) Hours of fun.<br />2) An empty bag of Ruffles All Dressed chips.<br />3) A lot of sweat on my face/mustache.<br />4) A slight increase in body fat.<br />5) Sock removal.<br /><br />It was not to be, however, under the severe circumstances I am about to explain to you. As the “Can Screaming Break Glass?” repeat episode of Myth Busters came to a conclusion, Discovery channel revealed what was in store for me next- Ants: High Definition. Again, under normal circumstances, this would be ideal for my situation. It is the sad truth, however, that I have already seen this program at least three times and have started feeling sorry for the termites who, despite having wings, always manage to get pwn3d by the fearsome ants. <br /><br />Now, ladies and gentleman, this desperate situation called for a maneuver I like to refer to as “going back to the well” and I was just hoping it wasn’t dry. The well happened to come in the form of the history channel, and what I found deep within its depths was a little gem called “Ancients Behaving Badly.”<br /><br />I assure you there is absolutely no words lost on the title, apparently, as the show simply chooses a famous leader or personality from the past and then Perez Hiltons the shit out of them, ancient styles. <br />Why the hell not? Am I right?!<br /><br />This particular episode was about the great Julius Caesar, a personal favourite, which actually made me slightly worried that the show would taint the image I have of him thus far. I was way off. At this point, if you’re not wondering where I’m actually going with this story you’re either fascinated by somewhat large words strung together into relatively cohesive sentences or you’re thinking of checking out this television series and appreciate the review. <br /><br />Truth is, my point is vague and unimpressive and this should not come as a shock to any of you. I’m basically only interested in pointing out how much things have changed since the time of my beloved Julius – a conclusion I’m sure all of you could and would have made on your own. <br /><br />The first story the episode examined was about Julius being captured by pirates and held for ransom. Julius warned them that if the ransom was paid and he was set free he would return and murder them all. He suggested it would be smarter to kill him (toughest guy, ever). They laughed at this pretty little Roman teenager and sent him on his way. Julius returned to Rome, raised a private army, returned to the island run by pirates, and crucified every last one of them. <br /><br />Now with all the modern problems with the pirates in Somalia, let’s picture Obama sending in the Navy Seals to nail everyone suspected of piracy onto ten foot wooden crosses. There would be trouble from every possible source. The United Nations would literally shit everywhere. Protests from people of Somalian and other African nationalities would be rampant. The Republican Party would have a field day and McCain wouldn’t even need Viagra to fire up a hard-on to rail Palin. This last point, interestingly enough, leads me to the next (and for the purpose of saving you from boredom) and final story.<br /><br />Julius was not unlike the Peter North of the classical Roman time period. This guy relished the opportunity to “Superman” more than his fair share of “hoes.” The main difference, however, was that unlike Peter North, Julius did not indulge in the wholesome, take-home-to-mother kind of girls of the pornographic world but instead with the wives of senators, consuls, generals and tribunes. To make things worse (or better depending on your view of this story) Caesar babe had at some point during his teenage years contracted the clap from one of his nice young companions. Not only was there no magical pill to get rid of this issue at this point in time, but the dangerous effects it can have on women when left undetected were virtually unknown and Julius was spreading it at an alarming rate to trophy wives of very important Roman men. The craziest part is the Romans knew about it, maybe not about the clap but the excessive adultery, and loved him even more for it. Are you shitting me, Romans?<br /><br />Let’s flash back to 1998 shall we? Bill Clinton, who by all means was a very good president for the United States of America, becomes only the second president ever to be impeached because he let a 22 year old intern choke on it for a couple minutes. He was 53. Regardless of your point of view, we know this much; Caesar would have gave him a high five. I’m not encouraging cheating on your wife of twenty years just for a sloppy oval office gummer but, at the same time, the United States replaced him with George Bush. Figure it out, USA.<br /><br />What I’m saying is that we need to learn not to sweat the small shit anymore. I’m not sure at which point this happened but I’m positive I could find a way to blame the United States. We should have more guys with funny accents getting blowjobs behind out government desks. These mistakes make them humans; it’s time to celebrate their humanity. At least we can relate to those who “lead” us. Yes, I’m also saying the next time a group of pirates hijack a French Cruise ship we should pay the ransom then follow them home and execute every last one of them. KIDDING. But seriously, pirates didn’t bother Caesar again. So if you need the conclusion spelt out for you than here it is- Next time you’re up late on a Sunday night channel surfing, stick with Ants: High Def.Goodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02852403064038164615noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-4155252186434829222009-11-19T11:41:00.004-05:002009-11-19T12:29:50.746-05:00All Your Base Are Belong To Becks<div>Just realized I haven't posted in a while. I'll attribute that to a number of things....</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>a) Sports are at a low point this time of year. Baseball is done, all there is to say about the NFL is Brett Favre related, and the NHL and NBA are chugging along through their useless regular seasons. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>b) I'm fat and lazy</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>c) Modern Warfare 2...which works in concert very nicely with point B.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>For those who are, for lack of a better word, retarded, Modern Warfare 2 is an extremely popular video game, the latest in the Call of Duty series. I came across some stats which show just how massive this game is which has convinced me that video games are no longer nerdy or uncool. Let's just rip through some of these quickly...</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Modern Warfare 2's $550 million first week sales surpassed some of largest entertainment launches of all time:<br /></div><br /><div>The largest reported five-day opening worldwide box office gross figures, held by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ($394 million)<br /></div><br /><div>The largest reported five-day opening domestic box office gross figures, held by The Dark Knight ($203.8 million)<br /></div><br /><div>The largest reported five-day worldwide video game sales record, previously held by Grand Theft Auto IV (6 million units, $500 million) </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Bigger than Batman and Harry Potter? Are there really that many dweebs out there? </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I have a theory for this video game phenomenon, and no, it has nothing to do with obesity and kids not going outside anymore. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I was chatting with my brother, who is 35 years old, on the weekend about Modern Warfare 2 and various other video games. He isn't into the gaming as much as he used to be, but he made a very interesting point about Modern Warfare 2 and similar games. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>He mentioned how when he was at the highschool/college age, he and his buddies would talk about how great it would be to be able to go online with shooting games like Modern Warfare 2 and play with/against each other, being able to communicate the entire time. This, to me, makes it all quite clear why this shit is so popular now.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Dudes who gamed 15-20 years ago can do the kinda shit now that wasn't possible back then. So they eat it up and reconnect with their childhood.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>It's only going to get bigger too. Parents these days are going to be way more into it than those of my generation. My parents are like 60, they were already old when Mario started stomping Goombas. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, what's the point, you ask? I have no idea. Video games are fun, don't hate on me. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I gotta go get a few kills online, god knows I'm not getting any in real life.<br /><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5405867847840211554" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 265px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_VWLYP7n72J6_lO0K23ZtEkx_MDFxmnCXUKCIz-OeYOFUYGu2Ws9mnCOVk88rgF5lDU7DZBKDMqt-FeyWkRo_PXZkTwvTXohMWJ74M1Nfe2o5STZRUd5NMGc5qq3elob27GF12-Oiw1Fk/s320/retrogamershirts_link1.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div></div>teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-45875390461757221472009-11-11T10:38:00.004-05:002009-11-11T10:46:56.031-05:00Holy ChristOne more thing: Have you seen Sammy Sosa's grill!!!!<br /><br />Jesus H. Christ. This is too weird....What's weirder is he seems fine with it. If this happened to me I wouldn't leave my house. I've attached the article in which he explains how this happened. You may already know that he's blaming a skin rejuvination cream that came from Europe.<br />I say, don't trust Europeans.<br /><br /><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4642952">http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4642952</a><br /><br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 135px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5402871689932367922" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQOdDKQHFNpHoblH3ydOe4jdSXxy1p8Lpab6PerSATIeb8RNCFBojZfLRrhT7DS_B2bJy6H3K_mtt4y7xhaGbvlHRiVeiezfuW1tvP9HA1krfXqEu6dDFIsw8OqybQ6KijzZKcJvC1988/s200/sammyskin.jpg" />Nabberhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10142460650319218985noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-43144551395070250452009-11-11T10:13:00.002-05:002009-11-11T10:35:27.464-05:00I like the Yankees, Patriots, Red Wings and LakersOh hey! Didn't see you there...<br />It's time for Nabber's latest post. I've been slacking I know. There's just so much more important things to do. I won't touch on it yet, but I've got a major announcement to make. Let's save that for the next post. See what I just did there? That's called a "tease."<br /><br />As for this column, I'm going to talk about annoying sports fans. Everyone can relate to that. In fact, it seems that's all we do here is rip into others. But it's fun! And done from the safety of my living room while hiding behind my laptop and keyboard.<br /><br />Anyway, I work in a sports environment and many times get to listen to who's fantasy team is doing what and also which team it is they support. I find it strange that with so many locals working there, not everyone supports their local sports franchise. Call me old-fashioned, but I think that's the way it should be (Okay, I know we've talked about this).<br /><br />Yet everytime I turn my head I hear, "Oh, my Pats are killing it today", or "How bout them Wings?" Other quips include, "Can't stop Kobe!" and Get ready for another Yankees dynasty!"<br /><br />It's ridiculous. And of course this isn't just happening in my workplace. It's everywhere. I've got a few theories about why some people like these teams.<br />1) They're fucking sickening bandwagon jumpers.<br />2) They actually like these teams for a real good reason (ex. Their Dad followed them when he was a kid, etc.)<br /><br />The real issue I have with these people is how proud they are of these teams they support, even though it's possible that they a) cannot even watch their favorite teams because the team is not in their market and b) they've never attended one of their favorite teams games. These people are out there, don't kid yourself. I know we now live in an age when you can watch anything and everything, but what did these people do before that? Follow their teams by reading the box scores?<br /><br />I personally have a sick fascination with comically mediocre teams (Black Jays, Bills, Leafs) I'm almost proud of it because it really tests my loyalty.<br />But I can always know that I have been with these teams for legit reasons, not just because they were good or won championships.<br /><br />Wait, you're not from Buffalo! What gives buddy?<br />True, when I started watching football, the Bills were in their heyday, but the first time I watched them, they were trailing by about 30 points in the Superbowl. I went for the underdog. (Why am I such a loser? If I like losing teams, does that me a loser? Hmm...)<br /><br />In closing, you all know the people I'm talking about. Maybe you're one of them. If you are, you can't be helped. If you're not one of these people, then you know exactly what I'm saying. So go ahead, like you're Lakers, Red Wings, Yankees/Red Sox, Patriots. But just remember, when those teams hit a dry spell, or cease to be competitve for a time, who will you cheer for then?Nabberhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10142460650319218985noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-42836107337003494262009-10-22T16:40:00.003-04:002009-10-22T16:49:56.999-04:00No PDA In The BigsThe Phillies clinched the NLCS last night with a 10-4 win over LA and Brett Myers is still getting no love from his wife. Hopefully he doesn't smack her around for this move like he did a few years back....<br /><br /><a href="http://www.thefightins.com/dmac/brett-myers-denied/">Brett Myers Denied</a>teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-46209384933995835022009-10-19T01:05:00.008-04:002009-10-19T01:25:36.041-04:00A Slippery Myth<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We here at 3 dusters are often too lazy to write anything worth reading so today we are welcoming a guest entry which we think fits in beautifully with what we're all about here on this esteemed blog. This fine tale comes from fellow duster, Mike Giorgi. Enjoy. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLqX1TGegmjYUGdPhJPQhJqJB454sM84DyAr9PPIjEucoAyrYbae063lismDYtJ2AoBzp11KphZ7NneNOYCyarODoagpoEVj4PjAErsvZxRNh2NvhYMkrDtkjF6a6EKmetN7C8CBcyhp_B/s1600-h/ownedshower7eh.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 235px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLqX1TGegmjYUGdPhJPQhJqJB454sM84DyAr9PPIjEucoAyrYbae063lismDYtJ2AoBzp11KphZ7NneNOYCyarODoagpoEVj4PjAErsvZxRNh2NvhYMkrDtkjF6a6EKmetN7C8CBcyhp_B/s320/ownedshower7eh.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394174805129573122" /></a><div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There are many quotations in the western culture that usually go undisputed and unquestioned by the majority of the population. Today I dare to question one pertaining particularly to the sports world, the world of criminal activity, and sometimes those who get caught in the "grey" area in between (not pointing fingers, NFL). This quotation would be the age old warning “don’t drop the soap” when entering the showering facilities.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I, like many of you, have always taken this warning as bible. Yet the oddest thing happened in the YMCA shower today. I know what you all are thinking, “what were you doing at the gym?” I would like to tell you that I did some sort of structured workout that my health will actually benefit from but the truth is I did approximately 3 sets of flat bench, threw in a set of incline and rode the bike next to a girl who will be known as P.F.G (Perfect Face Girl), since she is much too hot to talk to in order to find out her real name, until I finished my bottled water.<br /><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Without venturing too far off topic I will resume my story about the events that occurred in the shower. After my “workout” I grabbed my bottle of head and shoulders (give me a break the gym ‘poo is shit), wrapped a towel around myself and entered the showers. The usual suspects were taking part in their cleansing rituals. There was a man of Asian descent wearing a swimming cap, a burly man who (by the looks of the permanent tan from his wife beater) had been in construction for twenty plus years, and a cheerful elder man with a slight hunch and, from his quick nod and “hello”, had an English accent. I took a shower in between the Brit and the Asian man and proceeded to wet and lather. It was time for the shampoo. I popped the blue top off and turned the bottle upside down. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">That’s when it happened. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I squeezed the bottle and the soap residue on my hands caused the bottle to slip out of them, across the floor and in between the Asian and the hardy construction worker. Neither of them moved to aid me in its recovery (jerks) so I mustered the courage and pursued my lost treasure. I admit, had I thought of it at the time, I would have just bent my knees (even though now that I picture it a guy squatting in the showers is more awkward than what actually happened). I closed my eyes, bent over, and recaptured the lost bottle. <br /><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nothing happened. <br /><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Half shocked and half disappointed I returned my selected showerhead. Then it hit me. The shower is probably the safest place to expose one’s bunghole to the open air. For those of you who have had sex with a female in the shower you know that water is a terrible lubricant. Being wet from the shower would almost form some sort of Star Wars-worthy force field around the area of concern. At the same time, however, you (and more importantly your waist) would be much too slippery a target to grab onto. Finally, being the shooter in an unwanted game of bum darts HAS to be somewhat embarrassing in front of so many witnesses and probably dangerous around authority figures such as prison guards. We should have learned from The Shawshank Redemption that somewhere dry and subtle, like a janitor’s closet, is a much more dangerous place to drop something naked around sexual deprived or homosexual individuals. Sometime, long ago, the actual quote must have been along the lines of “don’t drop your knife when seven dudes are trying to do you.” Broken telephone isn’t such a fun game now, is it?<br /><br />Outside the shower lay the dangers of wet towel fights and credit card scenarios (although I admit these have occurred in the shower as well). So I say – drop the soap. Kick it around a few times. Pass it to a buddy. Enjoy it. Don’t spend the extra eighteen cents on a rope (a hundred of which costs you a bottle of Brava). My only fear is that there are far too many of these quotes in the English language that will forever limit our fun times without any real threat to us- like dropping the soap during shower time.</span></span></div></div>teebshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13033666779400639792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-17451797093669988952009-10-18T20:19:00.003-04:002009-10-18T20:42:28.624-04:00Weekly Poll ResultsSaw this one coming; Yonny Burger takes the cake with 7 votes, nobody else really came close. Honorable mention to Wendiles (2 votes) and their delicious grand slam burger (it's not on the menu, but ask for one and I guarantee you will not be disappointed...or skinny). I am a little surprised to see the lack of love for Harvinolds, but not as surprised as the fact that E and Sloan are getting married (spoiler alert) oh shit, those are supposed to go before the spoiler...oh well, if you haven't watched the season finale of entourage yet you're a true duster. Tbo, just admit it was a good episode, happy endings make everyone feel warm and fuzzy inside, and lisztomania by Phoenix playing in the background was definitely legit. <br /><br />Speaking of entourage, I think I will make this week’s poll about it. It has been confirmed that they will air a 7th season sometime in the summer of 2010. I am interested to see what many of you think about this (once?) excellent show.<br /><br />On a completely separate note, a couple of beauties I know stumbled upon a real gem of a burger joint on the weekend, and I mean this literally as they were hammered drunk Saturday night and looking for a feed after leaving the Tap. The spot is Nick’s Grill in Downtown Whitby and apparently it’s open until 3am on Fridays and Saturdays. I had it the other day for lunch and boy was it a treat. I am in no way affiliated with this establishment; I just know all of you out there are dying to find out what I eat to maintain this Greek Adonis like body, Enjoy!Goodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02852403064038164615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630845578561059419.post-57392891677870366992009-10-14T15:07:00.008-04:002009-10-18T21:01:41.309-04:00Leafs Nation = Disaster Zone<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsb-qGya3kW_2bx3kqUTtD1Xy1WTknLgfh39ox7aSthIxpTYlVcY9ylmeHMmAwmSMYhD4eA6JyiO67qNcVOihj1EOtYtegBIL4C2Flhk4jVJZPqV50p6S1HotZr5OMfU50SwNVaDHeeOg2/s1600-h/leafs-suck.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsb-qGya3kW_2bx3kqUTtD1Xy1WTknLgfh39ox7aSthIxpTYlVcY9ylmeHMmAwmSMYhD4eA6JyiO67qNcVOihj1EOtYtegBIL4C2Flhk4jVJZPqV50p6S1HotZr5OMfU50SwNVaDHeeOg2/s320/leafs-suck.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392541526218663858" /></a><br /><br />The NHL season is underway and nothing is new in Toronto, the lowly Leafs are off to one of the worsts starts in their storied history, managing only 1 point throughout their first 6 games. I know it is early in the season but the embarassing 4-1 loss to the avalanche last night, who owned the NHL's third worst record last season, could be only a sign of things to come. The Avalanche have been playing well so far this year behind the stellar goaltending of longtime back-up Craig Anderson and an offence lead by two 18 year old rookies in Matt Duchene and Ryan O'Reilly, still no excuse for getting pounded 4-1.<br /><br />So what is wrong with the Leafs this year? No scoring punch? Too many stupid penalties? Horrible Goaltending? All of this seems to be true early in the season. The leading scorer was banished to the press box last night and Vesa Toskala is a joke, the hockey equivelant of Josh Towers, remember him? The leafs big signings included Francois Beauchemin, who played in the shadows of two future Hall of Famers in Anaheim, and is now the owner a -5 +/- rating, they also signed Komisarek, Exelby, and Orr for some toughness, so far their fights have lead to minimal success in the win department, and finally; the Monster, the guy had some sort of heart attack when riding the stationary bike....good signing fellas.<br /><br />I am guilty of buying into Burke's crap throughout the offseason and pre-season about the leafs being a much better team and I wish i could honestly say that things will turn around in the near future but I just don't see it happening. The Leafs have what seems to be a proven scorer in Phil Kessel on the IR, but they also paid a high price to get him. If the Leafs continue to play they way they have and Kessel doesn't light it up once he returns than that deal only looks even better for Boston come draft time.<br /><br />As a Leaf fan I hope that the team FIO's and starts playing better hockey because as of right now it's not even worth watching, especially if I have to look at Burkes yuge melon and Wilson's Bill Gates haircut throughout the game.Goodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02852403064038164615noreply@blogger.com0