Monday, March 15, 2010

Vegetables Are Bad For You

Do people really enjoy eating vegetables?

This is a question I occasionally ponder, and I still haven't found a clear cut answer. I guess the easy answer is yes. Vegetarians/vegans must really enjoy eating them, right? Or do they? I feel like being a vegetarian/vegan is more of a choice based on the process of the meat manufacturing business than anything. No one can really like vegetables enough to eat them almost exclusively, can they?

I think vegetable consuming people fall into 3 categories.

A) The people who only eat veggies because they are good for them. These are the people who cook the shit out of vegetables, pour some sort of sauce all over them, mix them in with their mashed potatoes, rice, etc.. The people who convince themselves that since they eat corn and potatoes with most of their meals that they're pretty much getting their recommended veggie intake. If you haven't figured it out yet, this is me 100%.

B) The people who are trying to lose weight or are following some sort of diet for whatever reason. These are the people who force large amounts of veggies into their faces even though they hate their lives doing it. These are the girls out there who go to restaurants and order a salad, when everyone knows they really want the steak and potatoes. They fool themselves into thinking they enjoy what they are doing.

C) The mysterious creature that actually fills up their plate with greens, and loves it. A true anomaly.

I have a little anecdote to share with you to help you see where I'm coming from.

The other day I was having a conversation about either video games or pornography or both with my buddy James and he informed me that he was in the process of cooking up what he referred to as a "dirty" stir-fry. Curious like a cat, I asked what sort of ingredients he was using for this unclean meal. He enthusiastically told me that there was some chicken, garlic, carrots, broccoli, and then I stopped caring.

I asked, "Do you really enjoy eating that?" "Do you really love a meal that includes so many vegetables?"

His answer was basically this: "They are fine when you cook them with meat and stuff and can't really taste them."

Is it not strange that we eat things that we don't want to fully taste? I sure wouldnt want my steak to be cooked in a manner where I couldn't really taste it. My chicken wings better not be cooked with any ingredients where I can't enjoy their full flavour.

Another one that I can't really wrap my head around is eating mushrooms with steak. I know they aren't tecnhically veggies, but still. I actually hear that this dish is fantastic. Really though?I've tried mushrooms, and there's no doubt in my mind that they would hinder my ability to fully enjoy my juicy steak.

I'm making this sound like I eat zero vegetables, which isn't really true. Like I said before, as a category A veggie eater, I'm a huge corn and potato guy. 2 of the most useless vegetables a person can ingest. Here's a quick list of the other veggies I occasionally consume:

- Broccoli (with half a bottle of cheese whiz on top)
- Tomatoes (Ketchup, spaghetti sauce)
- Carrots (chopped up in tiny little pieces and dropped in some type of soup broth)
- Lettuce (an ingredient in the footlong subs I get which also include cheese, meat, a lot of ranch or southwest sauce, and a non-whole wheat form of bread)
- Peas (See Carrots)
- Onion (Either in Ring form, or in French Onion Soup)
- Pickles (vegetables?)
- Vegetable Thins (crackers)

OK, so I'm reaching a bit at the end there, gimme a break.

The point is vegetables are dumb.

If you are one of those insane people who actually enjoys eating them, please enlighten me as to why they are so great.

Anyways, I just got some McDonalds coupons in the mail today, gotta go check those out. Later.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Shorts!? Really!!??

I made my way up to the University campus on this beautiful day to have my grad photos taken. I enjoyed the drive along Taunton and up Simcoe with my windows down while I blasted Yeasayer. The unseasonably warm weather had me in jeans, a polo, and a rather heavy jacket which I probably didn't need to wear but was glad I did when I walked anywhere which the sun was not exposed. I parked my vehicle and began my 5 minute walk to the Student Centre to make love to the camera, on my way I came across a once endangered species, a species that now seems to be anything but endangered, but rather becoming more and more prevalent throughout North America every year. I am talking about, of course, the shortus weareritis. I said it myself earlier, it was a beautiful day, but that doesn't mean it's anywhere near warm up enough for short pants. I checked the weather app on my phone and to my surprise it was only 8 degress out, the way some of these plugs were dressed you woulda thought it was 35. I saw a few guys in shorts and t shirts, and then I saw a pair of dudes in shorts, hoodies, and one was even wearing a freaking toque! How is it that your head and ears as well as your arms are cold enough to cover up with material, but your legs are too warm, and need to be exposed? I know that everybody is getting excited because of the recent warm weather, but let's not get carried away people. Keep your legs covered until it hits 10 or 15 degrees at the very least.

I Can't Think of a Witty Title

Good to see the other 2 dusters get back in the mix here. Just hopped on here to touch on a few topics real quick.

1) I didn't even watch the finale of the Bachelor. After Gia got the boot and it became clear that Vienna was gonna take the cake I completely lost interest. The meaningless and horrible "Women Tell All" episode certainly didn't help the cause. I would like to point out that in an earlier column I predicted Ali becoming the next Bachelorette, which is actually happening. Good for me.

2) Ryan Howard is an idiot. If anyone reading this has ever watched a minute of baseball, please watch this (Hazel Mae with a nice appearance). There is so much wrong with his response about hitting .300 I can't even begin to fathom what is going through his head. "...I don't think people take into account how many hits I have taken away from the shift....if you add those hits back in, I'm hitting close to .300..." What the hell is that? Add those hits back in? Who does this guy think he is?

This is pretty much the equivalent of a reporter asking Alex Ovechkin, "Alex, what would it take for you to score 70 goals this year?" "Well, I feel like I've scored 70 goals every year, I don't think people take into account the goals that I've scored that get taken away by the goalies making saves."

News Flash: If you hit .270, you hit .270, you don't get to change the 30 line drives or deep fly balls that were caught into hits. Retard. Maybe he'd like to take away a few of his 200 strikeouts a year and change those into hits too. Might push him to .320. What a joke.

3) Nabber's not gonna like this, but I've recently made my first attempt at quitting dip/chew. I've been off the Skoal for a couple weeks now. I'm certainly aware of the negative effects it has on one's health, but that's not really what's behind my attempt to quit. It's the $15 price tag on tins at my local convenience stores and gas stations. Yes, I know they sell them for $10 at Smokey's Way on Simcoe, but even that's a lot. It should be noted that I've never really been a bigtime dipper compared to some people I know. I'd bang out 1 tin, occasionally 2 tins, per week, nothing major. So, you would think it wouldn't be that hard to stop...

Let's just say I'm absolutely dying for a pinch lately. I think about it all the time. I miss everything about it. It sucks.

4) Back to baseball real quick. I read a post on facebook where some guy that I don't know said "Vernon Wells needs to take hitting lessons". Of course, this bothered me. Hitting lessons? Really? Here's a lesson for everyone. Baseball is not golf, no one takes lessons. You take batting practice. You do hitting drills. Figure it out.

Here's one more lesson. Don't chirp my boyfriend Vernon, he's doing his best.

5) A few posts back I recommended The Hurt Locker to our readers. It won Best Picture last night at The Oscars and set a record for being the lowest grossing movie to win that award. I thought it was one of the more deserving winners in recent years. I was glad to see it beat out the overhyped, and maybe slightly overrated, Avatar.

That's about all for now. I'm gonna go buy 100 Skoal tins.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Since You've Been Goneeeee

The recent effort of Nabber and myself has been pretty brutes marutes, kudos to Tbo for keeping things afloat with news of the bachelor while Nabber and I neglected this once widely popular blog.

A lot has happened since I last posted, the Olympic Games have come and gone to some scrutiny and much fanfare across Canada. The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love has come to a stupid yet predictable ending, and believe it or not; I actually have made my way to a place of excerice on a somewhat regular basis...pretty much look like The Situation these days.

Much has been written about the Olympic Games in Vancouver, Tbo talked about how some nations blasted the games for the small technical difficulties during the opening ceremonies and the lack of snow throughout Vancouver and Whistler, as well as the lack of organization during the 2 week celebration of sport. I agree with him that it is ridiculous for these people to ridicule the games for reasons which are out of our hands, as well as simple glitches that probably shouldn't have happened, but have no bearing on the outcome of any of the events. Now that the games are over it seems the only people that are still sour are the Russians, but this probably has more to do with the poor showing by their athletes than the Games themselves.

From a viewing perspective I thought the games were amazing, the coverage on TSN, CTV and Sportsnet (sorry APTN and RDS but you both suck) had many people waking up early and even more going to bed late so they could watch the ending of some ridiculous event that they would otherwise flip right by. I think that is what makes the games so amazing, especially when they are in Canada and so many of our athletes have a chance at doing something amazing. Watching something like Skeleton would never be exciting if it weren't for some beauty competing, winning, and boozing on the street after. Like Nabber, I won't be watching quite as much when the games are in Snookie, Russia, or whatever the place was called, but I am glad I had the opportunity to see such a successful Olympics Games in Canada in my lifetime.

On a side note, I loved the segments showing the medal winners with "I Believe" playing in the background, but If I ever hear that song again I'm going to lose my mind.

The Bachelor is over and Jake chose Vienna. The ending was lame, the after the rose show after was even lamer and I probably won't ever watch this show again.....Who am I kidding, did you hear Ali is the next Bachelorette? Who is down for a pool, $20 a person, winner take all? Viewing party at my house every week, be there.

Oh yes, The gym....I've been a few times, hate my life, had Arby's and then wings and deep fried pickles lastnight. I come.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Oh ya! I Sometimes (Okay, Rarely) Write For A Blog!

Isn't it awful when the only time I come here to write something is when I'm bored out of my tree?
I just came to that realization now. Many things enter the old dome during the course of the day that I either find funny, annoy me or just plain piss me off, but I do not come on here to post such thoughts. Well, starting now I am making a pledge to all of you (insert joke about having little to no readers here) that I will make more of an effort to contribute to this thing.

Now, having just read the previous post (dated February 17th - meaning Teebs and Goody never come on here either...I am not alone!), I'm going to give my two cents on the 2010 Winter Olympic Games.

I'll say this: I usually don't watch the Olympics with great interest, but this year I was watching every day and loving almost of of the events (the cross-country skiing makes for bad television, yet no one is more exhausted or looks like they gave more effort than when the skiers cross the finish line).

Where was I? Oh yes...The games were pretty fantastic and it's great the Canadian athletes made such a strong push at the end to set a record for Gold Medals - the last being capped off with a Sidney Crosby OT winner. Incredible.

I don't know if I'll watch the next Olympic games as closely as I watched these, being that were on home soil, but I have more of an appreciation of the athletes and the events.

And now onto something that boils my blood often...the eternal whipping boys...Your Toronto Black Jays!!!

I don't know if I've touched on this before, but why is the formerly monikered SkyDome now called "Rogers Centre"? Do they play hockey or basketball in there?
Seriously, who came up with such a ludicrous idea for a ballpark name?
Only a Canadian marketing whiz would come up with such an idea. And only someone with no baseball sense would come up with the black jerseys with the abbreviated "Jays"on the front. I'll get to that later.

Only one other ballpark is called something other than field, park or stadium, and that's the Oakland Alameda Coliseum. I think that's what it's called. They play football in there too. Whatever, I'm fine with that.

I believe that some imbecile said, "Hey, hockey rinks and basketball arenas are called centres, so we can ours one too." No, you can't moron. It's a ballpark. A Field. A Stadium. What the hell would be wrong with Rogers Field? Tell me.
It's the exact thing I hate about the Black Jays right now. They're making some strides to return to being a competitive ballclub, but sometimes they seem interested in things other than baseball.
Black Jays Marketing Whiz - "Let's call it a Centre so people will think there's other things to do other than watch the actual baseball game."

Wrong idea. The way to get fans to the ballpark is by putting a winner of the field. Simple.
Same with the uni's. Let's change the uniforms so people will buy new jerseys and hats because we're losing money.

Well, put a better club out there and you won't have to change your colors every 5 years and be a joke.
Yankees? Red Sox? Not a joke.
That brings me to my final point about the "Jays" thing.

I despise the fact that it says Jays on their jersey and that Sportsnet and Rogers has the nerve to say "Rogers Jays baseball".
Again, some fool thought that because fans casually refer to the Blue Jays as the "Jays" ("Hey, wanna go to the Jays game?"), that it was alright to refer to them that way on TV and in print. It looks bush league.
When you watch a Yankees game on YES, they never say "Yanks", it's always Yankees baseball.

That's what drives me bananas about the Blue Jays organization. Until they change some of these things (which may seem minor or even ridiculous to the casual fan), they will never be an historic franchise. They may never be one anyway, but it would go a long way with me if they started acting like a baseball team. That's just what happens I guess when you live in a country in which the sport isn't number one, and never will be.
Bit of a rant...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Don't Rain On Our Parade

While this post would usually be a lenghty Bachelor recap, I have other things on my mind today. However, I will quickly, and I mean very quickly, touch on Monday's events...

- It's official, Jake is without penis
- Gia's boobs are amazing
- Tenley, while very attractive, is way too dull and boring
- Vienna is a gargoyle, and she's just a weird girl. She's not cool, not funny, and certainly not endearing. Tenley is void of personality but she's at least a nice, polite girl.
- My prediction of this week's rose ceremony was correct *patting self on back*
- Vienna will win.
- Watch out for the Ali factor. In the name of ratings and entertainment she could make some sort of comeback down the road when Jake realizes that Vienna is a joke.
- Ali or Tenley = the next Bachelorette.

Alright on to something that's caught my attention over the past few days. People slamming they city of Vancouver and the 2010 Winter Olympic Games.

This is where our Canadian politeness and graciousness need to take a major backseat and we tell the world to STFU already. That means Shut the Fuck Up for those who don't know. I guess I could've just written that, oh well. Anyways...

The London Free Press did a little piece on the Vancouver games possibly being the worst games ever. Somehow they had the nerve to cite the rainy weather as being a major problem. I saw some British tard saying how it looks pretty bad to the rest of the world when the Winter Games are being held in a city with warm and rainy weather. Another factor being the tragic death of the Georgian luge athlete, where many critics are blaming the poor track design and safety precautions for the young man's death.

Here were my initial reactions to this.

A) London, England looking down upon the rainy Vancouver weather? Are you shitting me? London, England? Doesn't it rain there every other day? Give me a break. I hope a giant freak unstoppable hurricane somehow makes its way up the Atlantic and hits London for the 2012 Summer Games.

B) Munich, 1972. That's it. 11 Isreali athletes and coaches killed by terrorists during the Summer Games. If you don't know the whole story read this. Or go rent the movie which tells the story of the aftermath of those events. You want to talk about deaths in the Olympic games? Start there. The death of the Georgian athlete was obviously terrible. I don't want to sound insensitive but we can't just blame the organizers here. He was an inexperienced luger who did not even compete at the same level as most of his competitors in this event. A few thousand runs have been made down Vancouver course and this is the first time anything close to this magnitude has taken place. It is extremely unfortunate and sad, but it should not be a reason to bash this event as a whole.

OK, one more thing. I've lost a lot of respect for Rick Reilly as a sports writer in the past year or so. For those of you who don't know Rick Reilly, he's a highly acclaimed sports writer, former columnist for Sports Illustrated and now for ESPN.

I haven't read much Reilly since he left SI, and, in my opinion his work has sucked balls since he left. I've read his last couple columns (Column 1, Column 2) which are attempts at poking fun at Canadian stereotypes and such, but to me he just comes off sounding like the stereotypical arrogant American. Some of the stuff he goes for just isn't even funny, nor accurate (apparently we say "arse" instead of "butt"). In his second column he offers up the old "I was just kidding, don't be so sensitive" card, then proceeds to slam the opening ceremonies among other things.

If you're gonna do an article making digs at another country's culture quirks, it's gotta be accurate and at least moderately funny, otherwise you better expect some backlash. And there's nothing worse than the "I was just kidding" play. No one likes the guy who throws daggers and then backs off when people get a little offended.

Come on, Rick. You're better than that.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

If You Don't Read This Post I'm Gonna Be Doing Backflips!

I don't really have much to say about the events that transpired on this week's episode of The Bachelor.

I thought it was easily the worst episode thus far. Just a complete overload of Jake being soft and the ladies being totally nuts. The grandmother spirit thing with Ali was just so over the top and Tenley's dance was just ridiculous. I was speechless after that performance and she immediately went into Vienna status. Meaning she fell 100 levels in my books, at least.

Ali leaving at the end was the most lame thing I've seen in a while when it comes to reality television. The simple choice is to go home and go to work if you have to. If he really wants to he'll get in touch with you later and you can get back to the love business. Done deal. Making that choice isnt nearly as difficult as she made it out to be. At least it shouldn't be.

Tenley's dance was ridiculous. End of story.

Can they make Tenley's ex-husband's image any worse? They make this guy sound like a complete douchebag all the time and I bet he's not even a bad guy at all. In fact, when Jake said he was the exact opposite of her ex I instantly came to to the conclusion that the ex would be one of the coolest guys ever.

I don't even remember what Vienna was doing in this episode because I probably changed the channel. I remember her Dad looking like a real winner though. Also, I love the Dads out there who still refer to there grown ass daughter as their little princess to their prospective boyfriends. Let's cut the fairy tale stuff at 18 or something. Your daughter's boyfriend doesn't want to think of her as your "little princess" when he's doing the no pants dance with her.

Gia's whole family meeting was alright I guess. I also heard that her brother is being cast for season 2 of Jersey Shore. What a plug that guy was.

Quote of the season so far (paraphrasing here): "If Ali decides to leave I'll be so upset I'll be doing backflips." - Jake

Come on, Ned Flanders. Backflips?

Oh yeah, one more thing. Was the L-bomb that Ali dropped really that big of a deal? I didn't think so. They pretty much tell each other that they love each other every 10 minutes with the "I'm falling in love with you line". Maybe it's me being a guy but I don't really see the difference. The show even went so far as to subtitle the "I love you" in case we suddenly lost our understanding of the English language.

That's it for Jake and the Gang. I'll throw a prediction out for the rest of the season.

Next week: Vienna and Tenley move on, Gia gets sent home
Finale: Vienna wins

Which is exactly the opposite of what I would do.