Monday, December 21, 2009

Don't Do Me Like That, Goody!

Word,

I know that many of our readers out there are very upset that I haven’t posted anything new on here for a couple months. I’ve heard stories of crying fits, panic attacks, people becoming violently ill, I even had to talk a few people off of ledges with promises of new material very soon, well alas, here is it; prepare to be underwhelmed.

Since it has been a while since I have posted I think I can touch on a few different topics, get it out all out of my system, kind of like the way I did early Sunday morning into a nearby garbage pale at my girlfriends house (I owe you).
I don’t know about the rest of you twenty somethings out there, but does anybody find it a little depressing that Christmas no longer means pure excitement for the month of December… waking up at 5am on Christmas Day to open up what seemed like a million presents? I just recently finished school, foreeeverrrrr, and with no career in site and the joy of working at 8AM on boxing day at a bitter cold hockey rink this year, I am having trouble getting into the Christmas Spirit. Sure, I have an advent calendar, but cardboard tasting chocolate can only bring you so much joy. I’ve watched a few Christmas movies… I think Christmas Vacation has been on at least one channel at every hour of the day since Dec 1. I’ve bought a few gifts, helped decorate the tree, even attended a Christmas Concert, yet it still sits in the back of my mind that Christmas will never be as fun as it was when I was 10, getting old and having responsibilities sucks, am I right?

Enough with the emo garbage, let’s move on to something less depressing… like Toronto sports teams (did I say less depressing?) 2010 could very well be another depressing year in the life of a Toronto sports fan. With the trade of Dr. Hal O’Day by the Black Jays, it is going to be another long year at the Rogers Centre. I will continue to root for the Jays, and I like the fact that we got some promising young prospects from the Phillies and A’s, but it is not going to change the fact that the Jays will most likely finish 4th or 5th in the AL East. Black Jays.

The Argo’s are a joke…well the CFL is a joke, so even if the Argo’s were good, they’d be a joke by default. They just fired their coach, his name was Bart, enough said.

The Raptors changed their roster drastically this off season and promised a good product on the floor, this year. Every game they lose and give up 378pts the more I think Colangelo is not the genius we were promised. Win a playoff series guys.

TFC; gay.

That leaves us with everybody’s favorite sports franchise, the May Pull Leifs. Could it be that the team that everybody has shit on at the beginning of the year turns it around and makes the playoffs? Could this no talent group of hacks actually win a round, maybe 2? Could they be the most successful sports team in Toronto in 2010? Maybe I’m reaching a little bit, but the recent turnaround of the Leafs has got people talking. The Leafs have certainly been playing better as of late, sitting 4 points out of a playoff position as of Monday afternoon. Phill Kessel has been playing well (other than a couple stinkers against his old team) making the deal that I blasted earlier this year look like it may turn out to be alright. I think the Leafs can pull it together and make a playoff appearance in 2010, especially in the joke that is the Eastern Conference. Here are a few New Year’s resolutions for the Maple Leafs, to ensure that they keep the train rolling into the New Year.

They need to play with a little more heart, especially Gustavsson.

Matt Stajan needs to contact the people at EA sports and inform them that his name is not pronounced “Stayin”. They’ve been pronouncing it like that in their video games for years, Figure it out.

Play with more balls, I’m looking at you Kessel (too soon?)

Get rid of Colton orr and Wayne Primeau and bring in their brothers, Keith and Bobby…Bobby is Colton’s brother right? Either way, bring in Bobby Orr.

Kaberle needs to grow a beard, he’s got the face of a 6 year old girl.

Ron Wilson really needs to stop letting his mother cut his hair, you’re making lots of money Ron, get a real haircut.

Make the playoffs.

Merry Christmas, y’all!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

There's No Roy in Team




A message to all the fairweather Blue Jay fans who have been spouting off about this Roy Halladay trade: Shut up. There's a reason why you aren't the GM and there are countless reasons why this had to happen. He's gone, we'll all get over it, the team will be fine. Now go save your money for tickets for the home opener, pull out your old school Jays hat and jersey, proceed to watch 10 minutes of the game, get in a fight in the stands, and throw a few empty beer cups on the field. Thanks.

There are too many things I want to comment on right now. I've heard and read people say they aren't going to follow the Jays anymore. People are wondering who they can possibly cheer for now that Halladay is gone. Fans believe that Aaron Hill and Adam Lind are now the only useful players we have on the roster.........HUH??

Do people really have this stuff going through their brains? Come on people, I certainly get frustrated with this team on a regular basis, but never to that level. If you are a real fan of a team it takes a lot more than trading their best player to abandon them. That's lame.

I'm going to throw a few things out here on why people need to figure it out. This has the potential to turn into a huge Vernon Wells rant. Beware.

1) To the "fans" who are abandoning all hope and don't want to follow the team anymore: Really? You're done? Come on, it's just one guy when it comes down to it. Plus, he doesn't even play every day. Halladay is the best Blue Jay to ever take the mound that I've witnessed (well, Roger Clemens is, but fuck him) but it's not like he's the only player that matters. He pitches around 30-35 games a year. What's that you say? You only watch when Halladay pitches? Well, that's retarded. You can leave.

2) To the people who don't know who they can cheer for now that Halladay, Blue Jay of Blue Jays, has been traded to Philly. Uhhh here's one for ya...everyone else on the fucking team. Hello? You are a Blue Jays fan are you not? You cheer for everyone! That's right, you cheer for everyone on the team regardless of whether or not they are a star player. You don't like certain players on the team? Boo hoo. You think Vernon Wells (uh-oh, here we go) is an overpaid, useless piece of shit? Too bad! He's on the team like everyone else. If Halladay was your favourite player, I get it, it sucks. Follow his starts with the Phils, cheer him on, be glad he isn't killing Toronto with the Yankees or Red sox. Then, go cheer for the entire Jays team.

3) To the people who praise Aaron Hill and Adam Lind since only they are worth anything on this lousy squad. Give me a break. One great year apparently gets you MVP status among fairweather Jays fans. I've never seen 2 guys get so much love from the fans for having one good season. Aaron Hill's story is nice, I'm a big fan of his and it was great to see him have a huge comeback year. Lind looks like he's finally figured it out at the big league level and I hope he keeps it going. Both players had the best offensive seasons that Jays fans have seen since 2006, when Troy Glaus and Vernon Wells (yep, it's coming) put up big numbers. Now, Glaus only hit around .250 that year, so maybe he shouldn't be held in the same regard as Lind and Hill. Vernon, however, authored a batting line of .303, 32, 106, quite similar to the numbers Aaron and Adam achieved in the '09 season. Oh, and that isn't even the best season of his career. Fuck it, let's do this.....

Yes, its time for the Vernon Wells rant. I've been waiting a long time to do this on this blog.

People, forget the huge contract, forget what you think you know about this guy (enough with saying he's lazy and doesn't care, its such bullshit), and know this: Vernon Wells, when he is the real Vernon Wells and not this bandaided imposter we've seen the past couple years, is the best player on this team. You know it's true, stop kidding yourselves.

I know people are still going to say, fuck Vernon, he's lazy, doesn't hustle, blah blah blah. Here's something for you to chew on. Fans adore the guys that dive around and get dirty and play baseball 100mph. The Reed Johnsons of MLB. There's a reason why a guy like Reed Johnson has to play like that, and it's largely because he doesn't have the talent and can't play with the efficiency of a guy like Vernon Wells. The hustle guys are great to have for many reasons, but they aren't going to lead you to a ring. If you would rather have a guy like Reed in CF over Vernon you are a total loon.

Oh, and the contract, the oft-cursed contract. Ok, the contract sucks, it really does. It sucks even if he is putting up .300, 30 100 numbers. I get it though, the team needed to show the fans that they were willing to shell out the dough to keep our star players around. If the Jays didn't give him the money, someone else was going to give him just as much. But come on, people take this contract thing way too far. It's not your money, why do you care so much what he makes? Should he perform at a high level based on how much money he makes? Yes, but to a degree. I don't know if he can ever really "earn" that money in the haters' eyes at this point.

Like I said before, When Wells is on, he is the man, there's no debate. Give me another great year from Hill and Lind and another horrible year from Wells and that can probably be refuted. Until then, it's true, and it really grinds my gears that no one can admit that when the proof is right there.

Fans, get your act together and cheer for the team. Sure, they aren't going to be good this year, but don't just bail now and hop back on when they get good again, then you are just as bad as all those Red Sox fans that came out of god knows where back in 04. Man, that was so laaame.

As for Vernon, cheer the guy on. No more moans and groans every time he steps up with runners in scoring position. Yeah, he's had a couple rough years, and I'm sure he knows it. He wants to do well as bad as we want him to. Oh, and just so you know, I'm driving the Vernon Wells bandwagon in 2010, and, if you figure it out now, you can all hop on for the summer.

Merry Christmas to all of our readers and their families!

Love,

Teebs

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

DOC

If it doesn't happen today, it will become official tomorrow. Roy Halladay will be traded to the Philadelphia Phillies. And you know what? Good. I'm pleased about it, satisfied.

Halladay never publicly lashed out and demanded a trade like so many others do. He's a class act and has remained that way until the final days of his Black Jays tenure. He's the best pitcher in baseball.

And go ahead and circle next June whatever on your calendar, because that's when Roy and the Phillies head back to Toronto for a three game series at the Rogers Centre. (What kind of baseball team calls their park a "centre" by the way? Call it Rogers Field, Park...Centre is for hockey and basketball arenas. Figure it out.)

Back to Halladay. I feel good about him not going to Boston or the Yankees, even though I wouldn't have lost my mind if he did. This trade is not about where he goes/went, it's about what the boys in black get back.

If Toronto gets Kyle Drabek, Michael Taylor and Travis D'Arnaud back as reported, I think that's a fine haul. Taylor is 24 and can probably step in right away if not next year, Drabek is 22 and not far away, and D'Arnaud is a 20-year old catching prospect who hit well last year in the minors. (.255, 13, 71, .319) He also hit 38 doubles.

When it's all said and done, Halladay is a Phillie, the Black Jays get back some nice prospects, and the fans don't hate Roy for leaving, or worse demanding a trade out of town. Doc should always be remembered in Toronto as one of at least the best two pitchers in franchise history (respect Stieb) and a class act who wanted to win above all else. That's what I'll think of, and I'll always hope he does well no matter where he goes for the rest of his career.

Having said all that, when are they trading Overbay? And are we really going to see John Buck and Ramon Castro share the catching duties this year? The answer to that last question is yes! Welcome to the beginning of the rebuild.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Go get 'em Tiger

I just want to quickly revisit this Tiger Woods thing. After learning that he's allegedly been with at least 10 other women while he's been married, my opinion has changed slightly.

I wasn't ready to throw Tiger under the bus initially like so many others, but wow, 10? When will the number stop going up? Does he hit 20 soon? 50? 100 kills? Tiger clearly is not who we thought he was, and now I think he should come out from the shadows and speak on the matter, for his own sake.

I don't really need to hear about all the filthy little details, but he needs to come out and talk about this. If he's got some sort of problem like a sex addiction or whatever, fine, tell people. At this point he needs to clean up at least some of this mess because it's just getting out of control and he's looking like a bigger scumbag every hour.

If he doesn't, in 50 years people won't be talking about Tiger Woods as the greatest golfer of all time, he'll be remembered more for being an adulterous scumbag, which would be a real shame.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Hey, Uh, It's Tiger.


With all of this Tiger Woods hoopla taking place it seemed appropriate that the 3 dusters should throw in their 2, or 3, cents. I've read about all there is to read lately on the Tiger Woods saga and all the media coverage and public response is fascinating . I should make it clear that while cheating on your spouse is not something that I condone or look favourably upon, I also think it's great that we have found out that yet another sports god is a flawed human being just like the rest of us.

I also think it's great that Tiger just proved that even though you might be super rich, good looking, have huge celebrity status, and have a smoking hot wife, it's still so tough to resist the urge to party and chase tail.


Before I get into this further I just want to post one of the best voicemail messages I've ever seen or heard. This is Tiger calling alleged mistress Jamie Grubbs...

“Hey, uh, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.”

How awesome is that? I heard it on TV last night and it's even more enjoyable. He's clearly freaking out and his wife is probably just on the prowl looking for something to club (pun most definitely intended) him with.

Now, the mainstream media is all over Woods for all of this shit, demanding that he inform everyone of what has happened in his personal life and painting him to be this horrible human being, unworthy of holding his throne atop the sports universe. Well, that's stupid.

A) He has the right to handle any personal and family matters with himself and his family. I think the fact that he is attempting to handle this matter with his wife behind closed doors is admirable.

B) He's a rich, powerful, good looking guy. The most recognizable athlete on the planet. Take a quick look in the mirror and ask yourself how easy it would be to avoid all temptations. It may be difficult to admit but the answer is NOT easy.

C) What the fuck does cheating on your wife have to do with being amazing at golf?

We put athletes and other celebs like Tiger up on a pedestal and when they act inappropriately we get on our moral high horse and destroy their image. Tiger Woods is a professional golfer, he is not the Pope.

Another thing that bothers me is people cursing Tiger for his actions since he is a role model for so many young people. Tiger Woods should be a role model for his children and people that he has built relationships with over the course of his life. That's it. Your parents should be role models. Your older brother or sister should be role models. Grandparents, a close neighbour or friend, a coach, a teacher, Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd. Role models. A professional golfer that you have never met and really know next to nothing about? Not your role model. Someone that you can strive to be like in terms of athletic achievement? Absolutely.

I'm very interested to see how Tiger handles all of this in the future and how he performs on the course with even more attention on him. I might be cheering for him more than ever.

What do you guys think? Has the Tiger Woods saga changed your opinion of him? Feel free to comment on this issue. Just, uh, sign in and tell us what you think. Maybe we'll respond to a couple in a future post. If you could do that for us it would be great. Huge. Quickly. Bye.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Clap for the President


Due to popular demand, our friend Mike Giorgi is back; and this time he's going historical on your ass. Enjoy his inquisitive look into Sunday night television and Julius Caeser, the inventor of a famous drink and fruity haircut.

Late night television on Sundays is brutal. Or so I thought.

Judging by the level of boredom I was experiencing it was probably close to 3am and I had already watched the TSN highlights at least twice all the way through. So, like any good insomniac, I went to the channel that never disappoints; Discovery. Now it is important not to take me the wrong way here. Normally, this would lead to a number of things which would include, but not be limited to, the following:

1) Hours of fun.
2) An empty bag of Ruffles All Dressed chips.
3) A lot of sweat on my face/mustache.
4) A slight increase in body fat.
5) Sock removal.

It was not to be, however, under the severe circumstances I am about to explain to you. As the “Can Screaming Break Glass?” repeat episode of Myth Busters came to a conclusion, Discovery channel revealed what was in store for me next- Ants: High Definition. Again, under normal circumstances, this would be ideal for my situation. It is the sad truth, however, that I have already seen this program at least three times and have started feeling sorry for the termites who, despite having wings, always manage to get pwn3d by the fearsome ants.

Now, ladies and gentleman, this desperate situation called for a maneuver I like to refer to as “going back to the well” and I was just hoping it wasn’t dry. The well happened to come in the form of the history channel, and what I found deep within its depths was a little gem called “Ancients Behaving Badly.”

I assure you there is absolutely no words lost on the title, apparently, as the show simply chooses a famous leader or personality from the past and then Perez Hiltons the shit out of them, ancient styles.
Why the hell not? Am I right?!

This particular episode was about the great Julius Caesar, a personal favourite, which actually made me slightly worried that the show would taint the image I have of him thus far. I was way off. At this point, if you’re not wondering where I’m actually going with this story you’re either fascinated by somewhat large words strung together into relatively cohesive sentences or you’re thinking of checking out this television series and appreciate the review.

Truth is, my point is vague and unimpressive and this should not come as a shock to any of you. I’m basically only interested in pointing out how much things have changed since the time of my beloved Julius – a conclusion I’m sure all of you could and would have made on your own.

The first story the episode examined was about Julius being captured by pirates and held for ransom. Julius warned them that if the ransom was paid and he was set free he would return and murder them all. He suggested it would be smarter to kill him (toughest guy, ever). They laughed at this pretty little Roman teenager and sent him on his way. Julius returned to Rome, raised a private army, returned to the island run by pirates, and crucified every last one of them.

Now with all the modern problems with the pirates in Somalia, let’s picture Obama sending in the Navy Seals to nail everyone suspected of piracy onto ten foot wooden crosses. There would be trouble from every possible source. The United Nations would literally shit everywhere. Protests from people of Somalian and other African nationalities would be rampant. The Republican Party would have a field day and McCain wouldn’t even need Viagra to fire up a hard-on to rail Palin. This last point, interestingly enough, leads me to the next (and for the purpose of saving you from boredom) and final story.

Julius was not unlike the Peter North of the classical Roman time period. This guy relished the opportunity to “Superman” more than his fair share of “hoes.” The main difference, however, was that unlike Peter North, Julius did not indulge in the wholesome, take-home-to-mother kind of girls of the pornographic world but instead with the wives of senators, consuls, generals and tribunes. To make things worse (or better depending on your view of this story) Caesar babe had at some point during his teenage years contracted the clap from one of his nice young companions. Not only was there no magical pill to get rid of this issue at this point in time, but the dangerous effects it can have on women when left undetected were virtually unknown and Julius was spreading it at an alarming rate to trophy wives of very important Roman men. The craziest part is the Romans knew about it, maybe not about the clap but the excessive adultery, and loved him even more for it. Are you shitting me, Romans?

Let’s flash back to 1998 shall we? Bill Clinton, who by all means was a very good president for the United States of America, becomes only the second president ever to be impeached because he let a 22 year old intern choke on it for a couple minutes. He was 53. Regardless of your point of view, we know this much; Caesar would have gave him a high five. I’m not encouraging cheating on your wife of twenty years just for a sloppy oval office gummer but, at the same time, the United States replaced him with George Bush. Figure it out, USA.

What I’m saying is that we need to learn not to sweat the small shit anymore. I’m not sure at which point this happened but I’m positive I could find a way to blame the United States. We should have more guys with funny accents getting blowjobs behind out government desks. These mistakes make them humans; it’s time to celebrate their humanity. At least we can relate to those who “lead” us. Yes, I’m also saying the next time a group of pirates hijack a French Cruise ship we should pay the ransom then follow them home and execute every last one of them. KIDDING. But seriously, pirates didn’t bother Caesar again. So if you need the conclusion spelt out for you than here it is- Next time you’re up late on a Sunday night channel surfing, stick with Ants: High Def.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

All Your Base Are Belong To Becks

Just realized I haven't posted in a while. I'll attribute that to a number of things....


a) Sports are at a low point this time of year. Baseball is done, all there is to say about the NFL is Brett Favre related, and the NHL and NBA are chugging along through their useless regular seasons.


b) I'm fat and lazy


c) Modern Warfare 2...which works in concert very nicely with point B.


For those who are, for lack of a better word, retarded, Modern Warfare 2 is an extremely popular video game, the latest in the Call of Duty series. I came across some stats which show just how massive this game is which has convinced me that video games are no longer nerdy or uncool. Let's just rip through some of these quickly...


Modern Warfare 2's $550 million first week sales surpassed some of largest entertainment launches of all time:

The largest reported five-day opening worldwide box office gross figures, held by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ($394 million)

The largest reported five-day opening domestic box office gross figures, held by The Dark Knight ($203.8 million)

The largest reported five-day worldwide video game sales record, previously held by Grand Theft Auto IV (6 million units, $500 million)


Bigger than Batman and Harry Potter? Are there really that many dweebs out there?


I have a theory for this video game phenomenon, and no, it has nothing to do with obesity and kids not going outside anymore.


I was chatting with my brother, who is 35 years old, on the weekend about Modern Warfare 2 and various other video games. He isn't into the gaming as much as he used to be, but he made a very interesting point about Modern Warfare 2 and similar games.


He mentioned how when he was at the highschool/college age, he and his buddies would talk about how great it would be to be able to go online with shooting games like Modern Warfare 2 and play with/against each other, being able to communicate the entire time. This, to me, makes it all quite clear why this shit is so popular now.


Dudes who gamed 15-20 years ago can do the kinda shit now that wasn't possible back then. So they eat it up and reconnect with their childhood.


It's only going to get bigger too. Parents these days are going to be way more into it than those of my generation. My parents are like 60, they were already old when Mario started stomping Goombas.


So, what's the point, you ask? I have no idea. Video games are fun, don't hate on me.


I gotta go get a few kills online, god knows I'm not getting any in real life.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Holy Christ

One more thing: Have you seen Sammy Sosa's grill!!!!

Jesus H. Christ. This is too weird....What's weirder is he seems fine with it. If this happened to me I wouldn't leave my house. I've attached the article in which he explains how this happened. You may already know that he's blaming a skin rejuvination cream that came from Europe.
I say, don't trust Europeans.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4642952


I like the Yankees, Patriots, Red Wings and Lakers

Oh hey! Didn't see you there...
It's time for Nabber's latest post. I've been slacking I know. There's just so much more important things to do. I won't touch on it yet, but I've got a major announcement to make. Let's save that for the next post. See what I just did there? That's called a "tease."

As for this column, I'm going to talk about annoying sports fans. Everyone can relate to that. In fact, it seems that's all we do here is rip into others. But it's fun! And done from the safety of my living room while hiding behind my laptop and keyboard.

Anyway, I work in a sports environment and many times get to listen to who's fantasy team is doing what and also which team it is they support. I find it strange that with so many locals working there, not everyone supports their local sports franchise. Call me old-fashioned, but I think that's the way it should be (Okay, I know we've talked about this).

Yet everytime I turn my head I hear, "Oh, my Pats are killing it today", or "How bout them Wings?" Other quips include, "Can't stop Kobe!" and Get ready for another Yankees dynasty!"

It's ridiculous. And of course this isn't just happening in my workplace. It's everywhere. I've got a few theories about why some people like these teams.
1) They're fucking sickening bandwagon jumpers.
2) They actually like these teams for a real good reason (ex. Their Dad followed them when he was a kid, etc.)

The real issue I have with these people is how proud they are of these teams they support, even though it's possible that they a) cannot even watch their favorite teams because the team is not in their market and b) they've never attended one of their favorite teams games. These people are out there, don't kid yourself. I know we now live in an age when you can watch anything and everything, but what did these people do before that? Follow their teams by reading the box scores?

I personally have a sick fascination with comically mediocre teams (Black Jays, Bills, Leafs) I'm almost proud of it because it really tests my loyalty.
But I can always know that I have been with these teams for legit reasons, not just because they were good or won championships.

Wait, you're not from Buffalo! What gives buddy?
True, when I started watching football, the Bills were in their heyday, but the first time I watched them, they were trailing by about 30 points in the Superbowl. I went for the underdog. (Why am I such a loser? If I like losing teams, does that me a loser? Hmm...)

In closing, you all know the people I'm talking about. Maybe you're one of them. If you are, you can't be helped. If you're not one of these people, then you know exactly what I'm saying. So go ahead, like you're Lakers, Red Wings, Yankees/Red Sox, Patriots. But just remember, when those teams hit a dry spell, or cease to be competitve for a time, who will you cheer for then?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

No PDA In The Bigs

The Phillies clinched the NLCS last night with a 10-4 win over LA and Brett Myers is still getting no love from his wife. Hopefully he doesn't smack her around for this move like he did a few years back....

Brett Myers Denied

Monday, October 19, 2009

A Slippery Myth

We here at 3 dusters are often too lazy to write anything worth reading so today we are welcoming a guest entry which we think fits in beautifully with what we're all about here on this esteemed blog. This fine tale comes from fellow duster, Mike Giorgi. Enjoy. 




There are many quotations in the western culture that usually go undisputed and unquestioned by the majority of the population. Today I dare to question one pertaining particularly to the sports world, the world of criminal activity, and sometimes those who get caught in the "grey" area in between (not pointing fingers, NFL). This quotation would be the age old warning “don’t drop the soap” when entering the showering facilities.

I, like many of you, have always taken this warning as bible. Yet the oddest thing happened in the YMCA shower today. I know what you all are thinking, “what were you doing at the gym?” I would like to tell you that I did some sort of structured workout that my health will actually benefit from but the truth is I did approximately 3 sets of flat bench, threw in a set of incline and rode the bike next to a girl who will be known as P.F.G (Perfect Face Girl), since she is much too hot to talk to in order to find out her real name, until I finished my bottled water.

Without venturing too far off topic I will resume my story about the events that occurred in the shower. After my “workout” I grabbed my bottle of head and shoulders (give me a break the gym ‘poo is shit), wrapped a towel around myself and entered the showers. The usual suspects were taking part in their cleansing rituals. There was a man of Asian descent wearing a swimming cap, a burly man who (by the looks of the permanent tan from his wife beater) had been in construction for twenty plus years, and a cheerful elder man with a slight hunch and, from his quick nod and “hello”, had an English accent. I took a shower in between the Brit and the Asian man and proceeded to wet and lather. It was time for the shampoo. I popped the blue top off and turned the bottle upside down. 

That’s when it happened. 

I squeezed the bottle and the soap residue on my hands caused the bottle to slip out of them, across the floor and in between the Asian and the hardy construction worker. Neither of them moved to aid me in its recovery (jerks) so I mustered the courage and pursued my lost treasure. I admit, had I thought of it at the time, I would have just bent my knees (even though now that I picture it a guy squatting in the showers is more awkward than what actually happened). I closed my eyes, bent over, and recaptured the lost bottle. 

Nothing happened. 

Half shocked and half disappointed I returned my selected showerhead. Then it hit me. The shower is probably the safest place to expose one’s bunghole to the open air. For those of you who have had sex with a female in the shower you know that water is a terrible lubricant. Being wet from the shower would almost form some sort of Star Wars-worthy force field around the area of concern. At the same time, however, you (and more importantly your waist) would be much too slippery a target to grab onto. Finally, being the shooter in an unwanted game of bum darts HAS to be somewhat embarrassing in front of so many witnesses and probably dangerous around authority figures such as prison guards. We should have learned from The Shawshank Redemption that somewhere dry and subtle, like a janitor’s closet, is a much more dangerous place to drop something naked around sexual deprived or homosexual individuals. Sometime, long ago, the actual quote must have been along the lines of “don’t drop your knife when seven dudes are trying to do you.” Broken telephone isn’t such a fun game now, is it?

Outside the shower lay the dangers of wet towel fights and credit card scenarios (although I admit these have occurred in the shower as well). So I say – drop the soap. Kick it around a few times. Pass it to a buddy. Enjoy it. Don’t spend the extra eighteen cents on a rope (a hundred of which costs you a bottle of Brava). My only fear is that there are far too many of these quotes in the English language that will forever limit our fun times without any real threat to us- like dropping the soap during shower time.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Weekly Poll Results

Saw this one coming; Yonny Burger takes the cake with 7 votes, nobody else really came close. Honorable mention to Wendiles (2 votes) and their delicious grand slam burger (it's not on the menu, but ask for one and I guarantee you will not be disappointed...or skinny). I am a little surprised to see the lack of love for Harvinolds, but not as surprised as the fact that E and Sloan are getting married (spoiler alert) oh shit, those are supposed to go before the spoiler...oh well, if you haven't watched the season finale of entourage yet you're a true duster. Tbo, just admit it was a good episode, happy endings make everyone feel warm and fuzzy inside, and lisztomania by Phoenix playing in the background was definitely legit.

Speaking of entourage, I think I will make this week’s poll about it. It has been confirmed that they will air a 7th season sometime in the summer of 2010. I am interested to see what many of you think about this (once?) excellent show.

On a completely separate note, a couple of beauties I know stumbled upon a real gem of a burger joint on the weekend, and I mean this literally as they were hammered drunk Saturday night and looking for a feed after leaving the Tap. The spot is Nick’s Grill in Downtown Whitby and apparently it’s open until 3am on Fridays and Saturdays. I had it the other day for lunch and boy was it a treat. I am in no way affiliated with this establishment; I just know all of you out there are dying to find out what I eat to maintain this Greek Adonis like body, Enjoy!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Leafs Nation = Disaster Zone



The NHL season is underway and nothing is new in Toronto, the lowly Leafs are off to one of the worsts starts in their storied history, managing only 1 point throughout their first 6 games. I know it is early in the season but the embarassing 4-1 loss to the avalanche last night, who owned the NHL's third worst record last season, could be only a sign of things to come. The Avalanche have been playing well so far this year behind the stellar goaltending of longtime back-up Craig Anderson and an offence lead by two 18 year old rookies in Matt Duchene and Ryan O'Reilly, still no excuse for getting pounded 4-1.

So what is wrong with the Leafs this year? No scoring punch? Too many stupid penalties? Horrible Goaltending? All of this seems to be true early in the season. The leading scorer was banished to the press box last night and Vesa Toskala is a joke, the hockey equivelant of Josh Towers, remember him? The leafs big signings included Francois Beauchemin, who played in the shadows of two future Hall of Famers in Anaheim, and is now the owner a -5 +/- rating, they also signed Komisarek, Exelby, and Orr for some toughness, so far their fights have lead to minimal success in the win department, and finally; the Monster, the guy had some sort of heart attack when riding the stationary bike....good signing fellas.

I am guilty of buying into Burke's crap throughout the offseason and pre-season about the leafs being a much better team and I wish i could honestly say that things will turn around in the near future but I just don't see it happening. The Leafs have what seems to be a proven scorer in Phil Kessel on the IR, but they also paid a high price to get him. If the Leafs continue to play they way they have and Kessel doesn't light it up once he returns than that deal only looks even better for Boston come draft time.

As a Leaf fan I hope that the team FIO's and starts playing better hockey because as of right now it's not even worth watching, especially if I have to look at Burkes yuge melon and Wilson's Bill Gates haircut throughout the game.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Herbie Verstank....I mean... Herb Brooks lives on.

I recently came across one of the funniest videos i've seen on youtube in quite some time. Check out this 4 year old kid re-enact Herb Brooks' pre-game speech from the movie "Miracle". The kid does a pretty bang up job, only thing he's missing is those sweet pants on Kurt.


4 year old's version


Movie Version (with Snake Pilsson!)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Poll Results

The poll results are in and 9 of you believe that the Make Ya Laughs (I made that up) will make the playoffs but will have an early exit this year, 4 people think they will just miss the playoffs and 1 Habs fan has them as cellar dwellers. They certainly have not done anything thus far to make anybody believe they are an improved team, I mean could Beauchemin have looked any worse the first few games? I still think they will push for a playoff spot this season, especially when Phil "One Nut Wonder" Kessel joins the lineup.

Thanks for voting and remember what we say here at 3dusters; If you're not reading the blog, you're a closet homosexual!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Black Jays Fiasco

Hello again.
And btw Teebs, Everett walking is old news. Let's get with the program. I was at the game when he walked on the field and gave a speech. Very touching...

Anyway, everyone has heard the news. The players are unhappy with Cito. JP has been fired.
I'd like to touch on those two subjects.
First, the players don't like Cito? That's a joke.
If indeed that story is true.
I'm going to assume it's all true before I get going...

Ready? Okay.

I understand not liking or not getting along with a manager. That happens.
And I'm not in the clubhouse, but how do you not respect a manager with the pedigree of Cito Gaston? Even if you disagree with what he might be telling you, don't you think it would be a good idea to listen? *Cough* Vernon Wells, Alex Rios (who?)...
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not out to bash those two guys. I'm here to bash any player that has the gall to question Cito's managerial tactics.
You've heard it here before; We all love Cito here at 3 Dusters.
But we're not the only ones. Numerous former players seem to like him as well.
I didn't hear any complaints after the Jays compiled a 78-51 combined record in his first 129 games back as skipper.
As for players complaining about playing time, presumable Lyle Overbay...
Hey Lyle, have you looked at your stats? You hit .190 with 1 HR vs. lefties this year.
Shut up.
The only guy who for sure wasn't pissed with Cito was Lind. The two of them were always seen i the dugout conversing. Hmm...weird. Lind has a fucking monster year.
In closing, the Jays have but a few what I like to call "winning players".

1. Adam Lind
2. Roy Halladay
3. Aaron Hill
4. Marco Scutaro

They also had Scott Rolen, who was the tits this year.
Scutaro will be gone, and Roy may be gone as well.
Travis Snider is also a gem

If possible, management should gas every player who isn't a star player (Roy, Lind, Hill) that Johnny Mac, Rod Barajas, can't get rid of Wells, bye Lyle, Scotty Downs (apparently the pitchers were also very pissed with the manager), good riddance Brian Tallet, Shawn Camp should find the number of the Nationals GM, Joe Inglett? Bye!, See ya Millar - go get a job on TV somewhere. What a bunch of stiffs.

I'd also like to touch on the report that the coaches were divided - Cito's guys; Nick Leyva, Gene Tenace and Dwayne Murphy - and the leftovers from Gibbons; Brad Arnsberg, Brian Butterfield, and Bruce Walton.
Again, what have the latter three coaches ever done? Have some respect.
I hate to keep saying it, but Cito and his coaches know how to win. They've won as coaches and it Tenace's case, won as players as well. No respect shown at all it seems.
I've also heard that some former players have spoken up in support of the current Jays manager.

Great start, terrible finish and a bush league play to hang it on the greatest manager in franchise history. Hey Ceets, show em' your back to back World Series rings!

More on JP next time, I'm spent.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Kevin Everett's Incredible Recovery

This is actually old news but I figured I would share this inspiring video with our readers. I know Nabber is a hardcore Buffalo Bills fanatic so this should especially pull at his heartstrings.

Early on in last year's NFL season, Buffalo Bills player Kevin Everett suffered an injury (fractured spine) that doctors said could be life threatening, and that he would likely not be able to walk again. Amazingly, Everett walked again only a few months later and is on the road to a full recovery.

Click the link below to watch a very short video.

Kevin Everett Moves Arms and Legs for the First Time

Another Day in the Life



Hello Blogosphere Plugs,

Now that I am done working for the summer and back for my last semester of University the production level of an average day has really dropped off, to say the least. I am currently enrolled in my final semester at the esteemed and historical UOIT. I am taking 2 courses (in the process of dropping one of the two, effectively cutting my workload in half!) and am also working part-time at the local sports facility, a job that can be summed up in two words: rink rat. I also put a few hours in at the Campus Gym, which is rather ironic because the the gym is one place I have avoided like the plague the past few months. My days are long and lazy, so please enjoy this example of a regular day in the life of I, Mathew Goodwin.



10:30 am - Wake up to the sound of my TV that I left on from the night before, look at my phone and realize it's only fucking 10:30! promptly fall back to sleep.

12:30 pm - Wake up for real.

12:40 pm - Get my ass outta bed, forego a shower and head to the kitchen for 2 or 3oversized bowls of cereal, watch sportscentre 2 or 3 times.

1:45 pm - Realize I have an assignment due tomorrow morning, decide to put it off until tonight.

2:30 pm - Play Rockband, my band needs more fans and I almost got through Painkiller on expert drums yesterday, better get practicing.

3:30 pm - All that drumming has made me hungyyy, proceed to make myself a pot of KD Sprials, eat the entire box right out of the pot, delicious!

4:00 pm - poop

4:30 pm - still pooping

5:00 pm - I remember I have an assignment due tomorrow morning, oh well, maybe I'll watch some TV. Alright! The Bird is the Word Family Guy episode!

7:30 pm - Wake up, must've fallen asleep for a bit on the couch.

8:00 pm - Don't go to the gym

9:00 pm - Starting to get hungry again, Call up Tbo and see if he's down for a Stuffed Crust Za or perhaps some Arby's or Wendiles.

9:02 pm - He is down.

9:30 pm - Fat.

10:00 pm - Back to the television, what's on....It's Tuesday, the new Hills is on, yes! I mean.....Isn't there any UFC on??

11:30 pm - Well, I should really get to that assignment soon, Fuck it, I'll peruse Facebook and do a few quizzes on sporcle.com and wake up at 7:00 am tomorrow and finish it.

7:00 am the next day - zzzzzz....

Waaaay Too Many Passwords

I'm so glad Teebs notified me last night that he had written something for this page.

I forgot it existed. And because I forgot it existed, I forgot my password - one of 957 that I have for various websites. Can this problem be solved?
I signed up for a monster account and was actually told by my computer, when entering my desired password, that it wasn't "strong" enough.
Excuse me? Hey computer, I give the god damn orders alright? You do what I tell you...

Anyway, it's good to be back, like Teebs said. Many things have transpired over the summer, none of which any of us will ever get to. So let's just pretend those things never happened.
(I'm thinking of you Toronto Blue Jays)


I also want to run away from the absurd predictions I made months ago...
Something caught my eye in Major League Baseball today however, and I would like to share. (Notice how I didn't say "The MLB". People that say "The MLB" should be sent back to Grade 1. It's not The Major League Baseball. It is Major League Baseball. Let's not confuse it with the four other majors: NFL, NHL and NBA. It makes sense the throw the word "the" in front of those organizations. Canadian television personalities and Rogers Sportsnet are always making this comical foible.)
Today, the Cleveland Indians announces they have fired manager Eric Wedge with a more six games to play in 2009. How ridiculous. Teams do this a lot, but I don't really understand why. The Indians couldn't stomach firing Wedge when they were 40-60 in July?
The Jays did that to Cito back in 1997. They fired him with five games left.
I guess I didn't have a whole lot to say about that, just that it wrankles me.


Teebs is right. Now that summer is over and there is much less do to, I will be on more regularly. I'm thinking a weekly segment with yours truly.

Go get em' Goody.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Black Jays Forever

We’re back. Well, at least I’m back. I have no idea whether or not the other 2 esteemed authors on this page intend on reuniting. Anyhow, 3 or 4 fans of this URL recently commented on the lack of new material over the summer.

After realizing that other people actually read this shit I felt compelled to make a comeback……..and what better way to start it off by talking about the Toronto Blue Jays, the team of destiny, off to a great start, sure to be fighting for a playoff spot in September….
Fuck…. what were we thinking? How could I ever believe that Black Jays would be Blue for the first time since 1993? Why do I still take pleasure in the fact that they are dummying the Red Sox at this very moment? They’re a joke!

It’s funny to read Nabber’s post from June 18th below. How things have changed. Although I did not share his optimism at that point, nor his prediction that the Black Jays would be playoff bound, I agreed with the majority of his points.

I have no idea if what I’m about to say is accurate because I have done zero research, but I’ll throw it out there. The Jays’ collapse this year has to be one of the more underrated in recent memory in Major League Baseball. If the Yankees or Red Sox started 27-14 and held the AL East lead in mid-May only to shit the bed and finish well below .500 it would be HUGE. Would Joe Girardi still have a job? I doubt it. Would A-rod still be alive? Questionable.


While this season was a complete waste in terms of team results, there were definitely a few positives to take away from the campaign.

1) Aaron Hill had a monster year. He should definitely finish top 10 in MVP voting. He just hit his 36th bomb of the year and potentially could hit 40 the way he’s been hitting lately. Arguably, he is the best 2B in the league. Fuck you Pedroia, you’re a rat.


2) Adam Lind finally broke out and put up big numbers. We’ve been hearing for years how good of a hitter he will turn out to be and it was great to see him live up to the potential this year.

3) J.P. Ricciardi comes through with his all-time best move as the General Manager of the Toronto Blue Jays by releasing Alex Rios. Rios is and always has been an overrated piece of shit. Now Chicago White Sox fans can waste their time waiting for that clown to be an MVP candidate. Not gonna happen.


There are other positives but I don’t give a shit. They’re 73-84, who cares.

It’s good to be back on the blogosphere, I’m going to attempt to toss something on here fairly often as I do pretty much nothing at all otherwise.


Check ya later,
Tbo

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Did We Mention That Cito Is The Man?

Hey there!
About two years ago, I mentioned that I would be writing about how I thought the Jays would still make the playoffs, even after that horrendous nine game losing streak. (By the way, I think there should be a new name for that, 'streak' sounds like too much of a good thing)
Since the Jays started out at 27-14, they've gone 10-17. Not good.
But since the nine game funk (that's better), they've gone 10-8.
Okay, not bad.
But now Roy and Downs are out, and this club is relying heavily (again) on young starting pitching, always a sticky situation.

There are, let me see, five reasons why I think the 2009 Toronto Blue (always so very close to Black) Jays will indeed make the playoffs, althought it will probably be as the wild card entrant.

1. Cito Cito Cito... I know, too much credit can't be doled out to this man. He doesn't even play, right? Still, he (and the coaching staff) elevates the play of this roster. You know it's true.
2. Marco Scutaro, Scott Rolen and Adam Lind...If there were 3 of each of these guys composing the starting 9, they'd min a shit load more games. Each hussles, each works the count, and each is what you could call 'heady' players. Rios and Wells should watch those three guys' approach at the plate.3. Roy...He'll be back, and when he does, he'll win 10 more games and help solidify a surprisingly strong and sturdy starting staff (see what I did there?)

4. There is more parity...No one in the Central is winning the wild card, and it might not come out of the west either once Texas fades. That leaves Toronto, Tampa and the Yankees. I still don't think the Yankees are as good as they've sometimes played, and I just don't like the Rays ok? So there.

5. It's been 16 god damn years...Can't the Jays just be that team that surprises everyone? For once? It's been everyone to the Rockies to the Marlins to the Rays over the years. It's time.

By the way, for those of you wondering what Cito's record is since taking over again last season, here it is:
87-68 (.561)

Monday, June 8, 2009

Alexisonfire

Alex Rios has had a tough go of it lately; he is the proud owner of a .174 batting average in the month of June, on pace for another underwhelming year both at the plate and in the field, and recently got in an argument with a dude outside of a charity event in Toronto after refusing to sign an autograph for a young fan. As the Blue Jays continue to plug away and stay close to the big boys of the American League East many players are enjoying successful years at the plate thus far. Aaron Hill has re-established himself as one of the leagues brightest young second baseman, Marco Scutaro has proven he belongs to be in the starting line-up every day, and Adam Lind continues to improve each game. Alex Rios seems to be an exception, an outlier, on this over-achieving squad.

Those of you who didn’t hear about Alexis’ spat with a fan after a charity event in Toronto last week can watch the video here. This video upsets me ....sure Rios acted like a douche, but I am torn between my love for the lanky bastard and his actions in the amateur video.

There are some obvious things wrong with this video, the first being the fact that Rios refused to sign an autograph for a young fan, I think this is pretty lame on his behalf. Toronto is far from a baseball Mecca and I am pretty confident Alex can parade around town without being hoarded by hundreds of eager fans looking for his Herbie Hancock. Just because you had a rough night at the plate the previous game (0-5, 5 K’s) gives you no right to snub a young, impressionable fan.

The second part of this video that I didn’t like, and reflects poorly on him is the fact that he dropped the fuck bomb about 5 or 6 times in a crowd of onlookers. I’m no prude, but yelling out who gives a fuck! Followed by a fuck you! And a fuckin’ idiot! whilst surrounded by young fans and people holding cell phones is not cool, gotta keep that shit profesh, Alexis.

The third part that bugged me was pretty much summed up by the fan who told Rios that he is lucky anyone even wants his autograph the way he’s been playing lately. It’s a great chirp, and also true. You can argue that Vernon Wells has been a bigger disappointment so far this year, yet I still think that he is much more valuable to the Jays than Mr. Rios. Vernon seems to be a leader in the clubhouse, a hard worker, a good teammate and former gold glove winner, Rios on the other hand seems to be a guy full of talent and potential whose biggest accomplishment is finishing second in the 2007 home run derby.

I have gone on long enough about how Alex Rios acted like a duster in that short you tube video; I guess it’s only fair to explain why I still like him...a little bit anyways. The guy; according to every teammate and coach in the Blue Jays organization, has a stupid amount of god-given talent and athletic ability, and he finished second in the freaking home run derby....like fuck, figure it out Alex! There is no denying Alex Rios is a good baseball player; I just wanna see him become great. He is currently signed to a decent contract that will see him make $64 million over 6 years so I guess I have no choice but to believe Rios can hit his potential and help lead the jays to prominence in the American League in future years, I just hope he doesn’t act like such a douche along the way...but even if he does, who gives a fuck!!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Top 5 Fattest (Greatest) Things You Can Toss Into Your Gut

So myself and some pals attended a Blue Jays game this weekend and decided it would be a great idea to get the All-You-Can-Eat tickets. I was somewhat skeptical on the availability of food and the frequency at which we would be able to crush hot dogs and nachos. For instance, would I be able to grab as much chow as I pleased at any time? Or would I be limited to grabbing 2 dogs and a pop per inning or something gay like that. I was not disappointed. It was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. Goody already touched on his gluttony...and may I say that is a very impressive amount of nacho dishes. Let's just say I ate as many dogs as there are innings in a baseball game, and we combined to lay waste to somewhere in the realm of 25-30 chiens as a group. Too good.

As a result, I've been inspired to share with you what I believe to be the 5 most outstanding foods that are also guaranteed to be in the top 5 list of foods that most certainly will increase the risk of heart disease. I'm going to limit this to foods that I have actually consumed...I've heard of burgers that have a fuckin Krispy Kreme donut serving as the bun, and although that is surely the fattest and most fantastic thing I've ever heard of, unfortunately I have not experienced it. Here we goooo...

#5: Taquitos from 7 Eleven - To be honest, I don't even know what the hell these things are made of, but they are so tastyyy. If you have never had one of these you are missing out. Such a treat.

#4: Big Mac - So classic. The fact that there is such a thing as a Double Big Mac is really just a slap in the face to me. Just make me fatter, thanks a lot. If I love Big Macs, why would I NOT get a Double Big Mac? Fuck you Ronald.

#3: McGriddles - These are just so retarded. Bacon or sausage with egg and cheese inside what can best be described as 2 mini pancakes. They are about the size of your fist and you might as well not eat for the rest of the day if you have one. I'll have 2 please.

#2: Stuffed Crust Pizza from Pizza Hut - I could have just said pizza and left it at that, but this za is just so extra good and fat. Just when you thought there was no more room for more cheese on the wheel, they toss it in the crust. Bonus.

#1: Poutine from pretty much anywhere - I'm placing this at number 1 right now but this list is really completely interchangeable from day to day. I loves me some poutine though. Shout out to my buddy Orty up in Ottawa for introducing me to the Elgin Street Diner's poutine. They top off your fries, gravy and cheese with chopped up meat. Stupid good.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

All Killer No Filler

A friend of mine who will remain unnamed recently told me about a hilarious video on youtube of Florida Panthers radio personality Randy Moller calling goals. He does so with much enthusiasm and some great references to movies, TV shows, and music of all genres. Come with me if you want to live......

Check out part one here and part two here.

Thanks Mike Mckenzie.....fuck.

(Inter) Pol Results

Well the voting on the poll last week was pretty lame, only 5 people decided to weigh in and all 5 predicted a Pens - Wings Final for Lord Stans Mug, looks like all 5 of you were correct and are in the midst of enjoying a 2008 Cup final repeat.

I am now going to make a conscious effort to post at least once a week, usually on weekends. The 3 Dusters have been living up to their billing the last month or so, being a real trio of Dusty McCranks. We will now try our best to bring you 250 or so words of joy every week so your boring, mundane, useless and overall pathetic lives may be a little more bearable, because who wouldn't want to live vicariously through a guy who just ate 4 hot dogs, 3 helpings of nachos and cheese, a box of popcorn, bag of peanuts, 4 cokes and a large vanilla/chocolate swirl cone at the jays game today?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Stanley Cup Finals (Finally). Oh and Predictions

It's been a long NHL season. Too long in fact. And now it's down to the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Detroit Red Wings.
This series will take about a month to finish if it goes to seven games because of multiple days off between games six and seven.
But after that, the writers of this blog (well two of them at least), can focus their entire attention on the Major Leagues of Beisbol.
Now, I've heard some grumbling from Teebs that I screwed him on some points for our predictions thing we've been doing.
Let me say this, that was not my intention. I apologize. But in case you forgot, we're awarding 3 points for a series with the correctly picked winner and number of games. We're also handing out 2 points for the correct winner of a series, even if you didn't pick the correct number of games.
So, having explained all that, here are the standings through three rounds of The 3 Dusters Playoff Predictions:


Goody: 28 Pts


Teebs: 23 Pts


Nabber: 13 Pts


Just brutal on my end, but sometimes that happens when you go against the grain and make bold, gutsy picks. I'm right on some of those earlier picks, and I look like a genius.
Anyway...


Penguins over Red Wings in 7


I'm out for now, but look for my next post, which will explain why I think despite the losing streak (which is 9 and counting) the Blue Jays...excuse me, Black Jays...can still make the playoffs.
Out.

Teebs here, I'm having a really tough time with this series. One day I like the Pens, the next I'm with the Wings. Today, I'm wingin' it.

Red Wings over Penguins in 7

I'm comin in late on this one fellas, I've been slackin' bigtime, with my long days working for the town and intense workouts (by intense workouts I mean liftin a couple weights and running 6 laps of the 200m track at the gym). My prediction from the get go was going to be Pens over Wings in 7, although I just watched Fleury let in a softy to make it 3-1 in the 3rd for the Wings in game 2.....

I'll stick to my guns and go Pens in 7. - Goody

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Black Jays

Just like their black uniforms, the Toronto Blue (Black) Jays have arrived in the dark ages. I came home from work today to check the scores in the MLB, hoping to see my beloved Blue Jays snap their losing streak of 8 games...holy fuck...I still haven't seen a single highlight of the game that took place against the Orioles today but the boxscore was enough for me. What the hell is going on with this team?

All week its been about not cashing runners in scoring position. Well, that wasn't a problem today. When you hang 10 runs on the opposition, it's tough not to win the ballgame. But, when your bullpen implodes and gives up 9 earned, you shouldn't win any game.

Nabber and I talked about this 9 game skid for a while today and we agreed that no true contending team loses 9 in a row....it just doesn't happen. It pretty much can't happen if you're thinking playoffs.


A few things I'd like to see which I think could turn the tide with this team.

1) Shorten the leash on the pitching staff a bit, especially the starters. Cito is famous for leaving guys in way too long, hoping to boost their confidence by allowing them to work their way out of their own jams. Sometimes it's a little much. Cecil gets left in about 5 hitters too long against the Red Sox and gives up 4 bombs in an inning. That's brutal. Oh ya... what's with all the Casey Janssen butt-licking? I keep hearing how he's really going to give the rotation a huge boost now that he's back. Uh, I guess. He did have a couple great starts 3 fucking years ago.

2) Get Wells out of the 4 hole. I love Vernon, but he's not a 4 hitter. The problem is I don't know where to put him, I recall him having some success as a leadoff hitter, but Scutaro is doing the job. Maybe swap Rios and Wells with Lind and Rolen. Ideally, trade for a power hitter to stick in the clean up spot and put Wells at 3 in the order. If you don't like that idea, well, suck it, then you can go check out Wells' numbers when he was hitting in front of Delgado in '03 and Glaus in '06.

3) I don't really have a third suggestion, I haven't really even given this much thought. However, one thing I'd really love to see is an off the field issue. The fans and media need to stop pointing the finger at management when things go bad, and also when things go well. It's the players who account for about 99.9% of the outcome, win or lose, 100% of the time. No more praising Cito for being the best manager of all time. I feel like Cito is still somehow winning ballgames for the Jays even though they've lost a million in a row now. Give Ricciardi a break too. I'm pretty sure people were talking about how he's really built this team from the bottom up, got away from trying to spend to get a winning club and that its all starting to pay off. Now they're losing and people want him outta here. Great.

Got tickets last night for the game on Sunday against the BoSox...Let's not make it 12 L's in a row...maybe I'll bring a brown paper bag. Go Jays!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

ESPN2 Karate

Two Fridays ago, I was in a Buffalo hotel room waiting for my girlfriend Andrea to get back from school. She has class on Friday night and Saturday morning so I occasionally go up with her.
On this particular evening, I was delighted by what I find whilst flipping channels.
If you've ever seen those cheerleading competitions or bodybuilding things on TSN, you'll know what I'm talking about.
What I witnessed was completely ridiculous.
It was an event that featured all age groups.
It was karate.




But not a mano a mano or girl on girl action type of thing.
The athletes(?) were on stage all alone practising their karate moves.
I'll let you get a mental image of that right now...
Got it? okay.
The best part of this was that there were 8-year olds all the way up to people in their 30's. And all doing the same thing, too.
They're kicking the air, punching nothing, and screaming all the while.
Now, while I was a few beers deep at this point, I thought it was funny enough to make a mental note of. It could be a blog post!
It could be the first post in about 3.5 months too!
Now, let's get back to the program here...One of the other things I noticed is how serious the commentators and the "fans", or audience was.
How is the audience not cracking up at this spectacle?
I wish I had my computer when I was watching this so I could have done a rundown of what was happening, but at one point one announcer praised little 11-year old Johnny's scorpion kick.
I'm serious.
The last thought I had on all of this was that if I were participating, I would not want this to be televised.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

NHL Playoff Predictions - Round 3

Here are the standings after the 2nd round of the playoffs
(I am strug-a-lingggg)

Goody: 24 pts

Teebs: 19 pts

Nabber: 11 pts

Once again I'm taking the initiative to get things started before the games actually begin. Personally, I think Goody and Teebs should be disqualified for making their picks late.

Anyway, here we go with my 3rd round NHL Playoff Predictions.

Penguins over Hurricanes in 7

Blackhawks over Red Wings in 7

Teebs here...Nabber continues to screw me after each round on the points for some reason. Apparently I get 3 points for picking the penguins in 7 (3 points) and the Red Wings (2 points). Great math. I'll personally edit the standings yet again andddd here are my picks...

Pens over Canes in 7

Red Wings over Blackhawks in 6

Goody's Picks

Pens over Canes in 7
Red Wings over Blackhawks in 7