Oh man, what a great topic. I really appreciate the opportunity to add a third installment. As a generally out of shape guy who just likes to punch in time at the gym in order to combat the occurrence of triple bypass surgery at the age of 25, I can definitely relate to the disgust that you guys are experiencing with our fellow gym attendees. Where shall I begin? My colleagues have covered some of the most obnoxious members of this ever-growing society. The cell phone user, the “I-don’t give-a-fuck-about-putting-my-weights-back-on-the-rack” character, and the idiot who grunts like he’s on the can taking a 10 pound dump are all terrible people. I do, however, have a couple to add to the list which you may have seen at your fitness club of choice.
First, in what appears to be a recent phenomenon, we have the wannabe UFC champion. This is an awful guy to be. I like the UFC and all that MMA stuff, don’t get me wrong. What I do NOT like is guys who walk around the gym performing roundhouse kicks and tossing left hooks in front of the pec deck. My guess is that the majority of these idiots have never even taken a punch, but I'm sure they'll tell you they are training really hard in the cage, working on perfecting their rear naked choke. It actually bothers me to even describe this guy, let alone witness such behaviour. Honestly, whenever I see the UFC Wannabe shadow boxing in front of the mirror I’m praying that Georges St. Pierre comes flying from behind the reception desk and spears this mess of a human being. Moving on…
This next one really baffles me. At the gym I go to, all members have access to a variety of aerobics rooms, a 200m track, and a huge basketball court. So when I see some clown skipping or getting his form running on in the weight room and not in one of those aforementioned areas, I can’t help but wonder if these people are working with an extra chromosome. I actually don’t even have a label for this guy. I’m just gonna call him the skipping/form running/doing things that I could and should be doing somewhere else because I’m making life miserable for normal people guy. Am I really supposed to walk around this asshole that’s skipping in the weight room? Is this guy really doing high knees in the aisle between the treadmills and the elliptical machines? What a joke.
To be continued…
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Now I'm not going to claim that I'm a regular gym-goer, because I'm not - Somehow I've managed to avoid the nearly-crushing social pressure to be thin (let's face it: a big mac is damn near irresistable at 3 am when you're drunk). Anyway, I'd like to add another type of guy to your list of gym people that piss you off. Actually, this guy could be ANY of the aforementioned types, but you actually have to speak to this one to discover how truly annoying they are. I like to refer to him as the I'm-so-fit-and-I-know-a-lot-of-shit-about-the-human-body-that-I-should-probably-be-a-personal-trainer guy. I happen to know one of these through a friend and if you mention anything remotely related to fitness or muscles, bones, anything like that, it turns into a fucking pissing contest about who knows more about the human body. What's funny is that this type of guy is usually new to body science and doesn't actually have a solid background in biology or physiology, so he pronounces things like 'faciitis' wrong. Lol, what a maroon.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I have seen this gym goer many a time. Actually, there are quite a few at the Durham/UOIT gym because the durham fitness and health classes all come in together with their shirts on and workout. You can often over hear these out of shape wannabe trainers talking about working out like they're real gym rats.
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