Top 5 Fattest (Greatest) Things You Can Toss Into Your Gut

So myself and some pals attended a Blue Jays game this weekend and decided it would be a great idea to get the All-You-Can-Eat tickets. I was somewhat skeptical on the availability of food and the frequency at which we would be able to crush hot dogs and nachos. For instance, would I be able to grab as much chow as I pleased at any time? Or would I be limited to grabbing 2 dogs and a pop per inning or something gay like that. I was not disappointed. It was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. Goody already touched on his gluttony...and may I say that is a very impressive amount of nacho dishes. Let's just say I ate as many dogs as there are innings in a baseball game, and we combined to lay waste to somewhere in the realm of 25-30 chiens as a group. Too good.

As a result, I've been inspired to share with you what I believe to be the 5 most outstanding foods that are also guaranteed to be in the top 5 list of foods that most certainly will increase the risk of heart disease. I'm going to limit this to foods that I have actually consumed...I've heard of burgers that have a fuckin Krispy Kreme donut serving as the bun, and although that is surely the fattest and most fantastic thing I've ever heard of, unfortunately I have not experienced it. Here we goooo...

#5: Taquitos from 7 Eleven - To be honest, I don't even know what the hell these things are made of, but they are so tastyyy. If you have never had one of these you are missing out. Such a treat.

#4: Big Mac - So classic. The fact that there is such a thing as a Double Big Mac is really just a slap in the face to me. Just make me fatter, thanks a lot. If I love Big Macs, why would I NOT get a Double Big Mac? Fuck you Ronald.

#3: McGriddles - These are just so retarded. Bacon or sausage with egg and cheese inside what can best be described as 2 mini pancakes. They are about the size of your fist and you might as well not eat for the rest of the day if you have one. I'll have 2 please.

#2: Stuffed Crust Pizza from Pizza Hut - I could have just said pizza and left it at that, but this za is just so extra good and fat. Just when you thought there was no more room for more cheese on the wheel, they toss it in the crust. Bonus.

#1: Poutine from pretty much anywhere - I'm placing this at number 1 right now but this list is really completely interchangeable from day to day. I loves me some poutine though. Shout out to my buddy Orty up in Ottawa for introducing me to the Elgin Street Diner's poutine. They top off your fries, gravy and cheese with chopped up meat. Stupid good.

All Killer No Filler

A friend of mine who will remain unnamed recently told me about a hilarious video on youtube of Florida Panthers radio personality Randy Moller calling goals. He does so with much enthusiasm and some great references to movies, TV shows, and music of all genres. Come with me if you want to live......

Check out part one here and part two here.

Thanks Mike Mckenzie.....fuck.

(Inter) Pol Results

Well the voting on the poll last week was pretty lame, only 5 people decided to weigh in and all 5 predicted a Pens - Wings Final for Lord Stans Mug, looks like all 5 of you were correct and are in the midst of enjoying a 2008 Cup final repeat.

I am now going to make a conscious effort to post at least once a week, usually on weekends. The 3 Dusters have been living up to their billing the last month or so, being a real trio of Dusty McCranks. We will now try our best to bring you 250 or so words of joy every week so your boring, mundane, useless and overall pathetic lives may be a little more bearable, because who wouldn't want to live vicariously through a guy who just ate 4 hot dogs, 3 helpings of nachos and cheese, a box of popcorn, bag of peanuts, 4 cokes and a large vanilla/chocolate swirl cone at the jays game today?

The Stanley Cup Finals (Finally). Oh and Predictions

It's been a long NHL season. Too long in fact. And now it's down to the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Detroit Red Wings.
This series will take about a month to finish if it goes to seven games because of multiple days off between games six and seven.
But after that, the writers of this blog (well two of them at least), can focus their entire attention on the Major Leagues of Beisbol.
Now, I've heard some grumbling from Teebs that I screwed him on some points for our predictions thing we've been doing.
Let me say this, that was not my intention. I apologize. But in case you forgot, we're awarding 3 points for a series with the correctly picked winner and number of games. We're also handing out 2 points for the correct winner of a series, even if you didn't pick the correct number of games.
So, having explained all that, here are the standings through three rounds of The 3 Dusters Playoff Predictions:


Goody: 28 Pts


Teebs: 23 Pts


Nabber: 13 Pts


Just brutal on my end, but sometimes that happens when you go against the grain and make bold, gutsy picks. I'm right on some of those earlier picks, and I look like a genius.
Anyway...


Penguins over Red Wings in 7


I'm out for now, but look for my next post, which will explain why I think despite the losing streak (which is 9 and counting) the Blue Jays...excuse me, Black Jays...can still make the playoffs.
Out.

Teebs here, I'm having a really tough time with this series. One day I like the Pens, the next I'm with the Wings. Today, I'm wingin' it.

Red Wings over Penguins in 7

I'm comin in late on this one fellas, I've been slackin' bigtime, with my long days working for the town and intense workouts (by intense workouts I mean liftin a couple weights and running 6 laps of the 200m track at the gym). My prediction from the get go was going to be Pens over Wings in 7, although I just watched Fleury let in a softy to make it 3-1 in the 3rd for the Wings in game 2.....

I'll stick to my guns and go Pens in 7. - Goody

Black Jays

Just like their black uniforms, the Toronto Blue (Black) Jays have arrived in the dark ages. I came home from work today to check the scores in the MLB, hoping to see my beloved Blue Jays snap their losing streak of 8 games...holy fuck...I still haven't seen a single highlight of the game that took place against the Orioles today but the boxscore was enough for me. What the hell is going on with this team?

All week its been about not cashing runners in scoring position. Well, that wasn't a problem today. When you hang 10 runs on the opposition, it's tough not to win the ballgame. But, when your bullpen implodes and gives up 9 earned, you shouldn't win any game.

Nabber and I talked about this 9 game skid for a while today and we agreed that no true contending team loses 9 in a row....it just doesn't happen. It pretty much can't happen if you're thinking playoffs.

A few things I'd like to see which I think could turn the tide with this team.

1) Shorten the leash on the pitching staff a bit, especially the starters. Cito is famous for leaving guys in way too long, hoping to boost their confidence by allowing them to work their way out of their own jams. Sometimes it's a little much. Cecil gets left in about 5 hitters too long against the Red Sox and gives up 4 bombs in an inning. That's brutal. Oh ya... what's with all the Casey Janssen butt-licking? I keep hearing how he's really going to give the rotation a huge boost now that he's back. Uh, I guess. He did have a couple great starts 3 fucking years ago.

2) Get Wells out of the 4 hole. I love Vernon, but he's not a 4 hitter. The problem is I don't know where to put him, I recall him having some success as a leadoff hitter, but Scutaro is doing the job. Maybe swap Rios and Wells with Lind and Rolen. Ideally, trade for a power hitter to stick in the clean up spot and put Wells at 3 in the order. If you don't like that idea, well, suck it, then you can go check out Wells' numbers when he was hitting in front of Delgado in '03 and Glaus in '06.

3) I don't really have a third suggestion, I haven't really even given this much thought. However, one thing I'd really love to see is an off the field issue. The fans and media need to stop pointing the finger at management when things go bad, and also when things go well. It's the players who account for about 99.9% of the outcome, win or lose, 100% of the time. No more praising Cito for being the best manager of all time. I feel like Cito is still somehow winning ballgames for the Jays even though they've lost a million in a row now. Give Ricciardi a break too. I'm pretty sure people were talking about how he's really built this team from the bottom up, got away from trying to spend to get a winning club and that its all starting to pay off. Now they're losing and people want him outta here. Great.

Got tickets last night for the game on Sunday against the BoSox...Let's not make it 12 L's in a row...maybe I'll bring a brown paper bag. Go Jays!

ESPN2 Karate

Two Fridays ago, I was in a Buffalo hotel room waiting for my girlfriend Andrea to get back from school. She has class on Friday night and Saturday morning so I occasionally go up with her.

On this particular evening, I was delighted by what I find whilst flipping channels.

If you've ever seen those cheerleading competitions or bodybuilding things on TSN, you'll know what I'm talking about.

What I witnessed was completely ridiculous.

It was an event that featured all age groups.

It was karate.

But not a mano a mano or girl on girl action type of thing.

The athletes(?) were on stage all alone practising their karate moves.

I'll let you get a mental image of that right now...
Got it? okay.

The best part of this was that there were 8-year olds all the way up to people in their 30's. And all doing the same thing, too.

They're kicking the air, punching nothing, and screaming all the while.

Now, while I was a few beers deep at this point, I thought it was funny enough to make a mental note of. It could be a blog post!

It could be the first post in about 3.5 months too!

Now, let's get back to the program here...One of the other things I noticed is how serious the commentators and the "fans", or audience was.

How is the audience not cracking up at this spectacle?

I wish I had my computer when I was watching this so I could have done a rundown of what was happening, but at one point one announcer praised little 11-year old Johnny's scorpion kick.
I'm serious.

The last thought I had on all of this was that if I were participating, I would not want this to be televised.

NHL Playoff Predictions - Round 3

Here are the standings after the 2nd round of the playoffs
(I am strug-a-lingggg)

Goody: 24 pts

Teebs: 19 pts

Nabber: 11 pts

Once again I'm taking the initiative to get things started before the games actually begin. Personally, I think Goody and Teebs should be disqualified for making their picks late.

Anyway, here we go with my 3rd round NHL Playoff Predictions.

Penguins over Hurricanes in 7

Blackhawks over Red Wings in 7

Teebs here...Nabber continues to screw me after each round on the points for some reason. Apparently I get 3 points for picking the penguins in 7 (3 points) and the Red Wings (2 points). Great math. I'll personally edit the standings yet again andddd here are my picks...

Pens over Canes in 7

Red Wings over Blackhawks in 6

Goody's Picks

Pens over Canes in 7

Red Wings over Blackhawks in 7